"Q: What do Michael Jackson and the New York Mets have in common?" joke

Q: What do Michael Jackson and the New York Mets have in common?
A: They're both walking around with one glove on their hand for no apparent reason whatsoever!!
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in! !
Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off! !
Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my sun!!
Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?
A: His other hand! !
Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy! !
Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
A: There's a big wheel parked outside his house!!
Q: Heard about Michael Jackson's new songs?
A: I'm forever blowing bubbles!
Q: Why does Michael Jackson arrange for private shopping?
A: So his guests won't be accompanied by guardians!
Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
A: They're both 30 year old meat between 10 year old buns!
Q: Why isn't all the controversy bothering Michael?
A: He doesn't mind reaching bottom.
Q: What's Michael's favorite Canadian TV show?
A: The Kids in the Hall.
Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"?
A: Two 5 year olds.
Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!
Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's toaster?
A: The bread goes in brown, and comes out white.
Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalogue.
Q: What does Michael Jackson reminisce about when he gets nostalgic?
A: Blowing his first nose.
Q: What's the difference between Richard Pryor and Michael Jackson?
A: Richard Pryor got burnt on coke, Michael Jackson got burnt on
Pepsi!
Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Michael said to Debbie one night, "I fancy some
entertainment, what shall we do?".
To which Debbie replied " I know we'll get a video".
Michael then said " Great, Ill get Aladdin".
Debbie said speedily "No Michael, You have been
in trouble for that before"
Q: What's black and comes in little white cans?
A: Michael Jackson
Q: What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years?
A: Michael Jackson.
Prince Michael Jackson, Jr. --- you know in a few years
they'll probably change his name to:
The Child Formerly Known as Michael Jackson's Baby
Q: What do Michael Jackson & Michael Jordan have in common?
A: They both play ball in the Minor League.
Q: What's the difference between them?
A: One is in the Minors, the other is into Minors.
Q: Why was Michael Jackson relieved of his Cub Scout Leader duties?
A: He was up to a pack a day.
Q: What does Michael have in common with NASA?
A: It's been 25 years since his first moon landing.
The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make him a priest.
Q: How do we know Michael Jackson is ready to release another album?
A: He has a lot of stuff in the can.
Q: Who will Michael record his next album with?
A: Les Brown.
Q: Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore?
A: He's tired of all the cracks.
Q: Did you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson stamp?
A: Fans get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.
Q: What's the difference between Michael and a proctologist?
A: A proctologist doesn't pay for the assholes he's poked around in.
`Hear about the new "Michael Jackson" candy bar?
~It's made from white chocolate, and contains no nuts.
Michael Jackson and Woody Allen on "Child Psychology":
"Spare the rod, and spoil the child."
`What is Michael Jackson's Alma Matter?
~Bring-em Young.
`Did you hear about the duet by Michael Jackson and Elton John?
~It is titled "Don't let your son go down on me."
`What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson?
~Michael Jackson has had more noses.
`Why did Michael invite MacCauly Caulkin to the house?
~He's like the little boy he never had.
`Why does Michael really need to go to rehab?
~He's a crack addict.
`Did you know that Michael Jackson just turned 35?
~Yeah, but he still feels like a 13 year old.
`How did Michael get in trouble?
~He was feeling a little Randy.
`How is Michael dealing with his problems?
~He's holding his own.
`How are Michael's friends dealing with the problem?
~They're all standing behind him.
`How did Michael actually proposition the little boy?
~It was just a slip of the tongue.
`What's sex like for Michael?
~Child's Play.
`Hear about the new Michael Jackson doll?
~It comes in a little can.
`Why does Michael like children so much?
~He knows how they feel.
`How can you tell when Michael Jackson is giving a party?
~By all the Big Wheels in his driveway.
`What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Plastic bag?
~One is made out of plastic and is dangerous for kids to play with
and one is used to carry groceries.
`Did you hear Michael Jackson was running a "blue-light" special
at a local K-Mart?
~Little boys' pants were half off!
`What makes Michael Jackson so unique?
~It's the little boy inside him.
`How does Michael like to party?
~He sips a couple of Tall Boys.
`What's Michael's favorite snack?
~Slim Jims.
`What's Michael's favorite fast food?
~Big Boys.
`What's the new movie about Michael Jackson called?
~"The Hand that Robs the Cradle."
McDonald's is bringing out a new burger. .."Micheal Jackson Burger"...
It has 35 yr old meat inside 5 yr old buns.
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sayings?
1) There's a sucker born every minute.
2) Kids do the darndest things.
3) Tricks are for kids.
`What's sex like for Michael?
~Like candy from a baby.
`What's Michael's favorite dish?
~Creamed shrimp.
`Why's Michael cutting down on public appearances?
~He wants to spend more time with the kids.
`How will they ensure that Michael gets a thorough body search?
~Hire a Catholic priest to do it.
`What will they call the upcoming movie about Michael Jackson?
~"The African Queen."
Michael Jackson and Pee Wee Herman are have come out with a
new video called... "I'll beat it for you."
`Why did Michael Jackson want to join the Branch Davidians?
~So he could be black again.
`How does Michael Jackson resemble the Cincinatti Reds?
~They're both whiter than they should be.

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