Proctologist Jokes

A proctologist walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to write with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great! Some asshole's got my pen!"

A one-eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye a couple of days before his proctological examination. It caused him concern, but since it didn't seem to cause any ill effects, he forgot about it.
Entering the proctologist's examining room, he did as instructed and undressed, then bent over. The first thing the doctor observed when he looked up the man's butt was the glass eye staring right back at him.
"You know, you really have to learn to trust me!" the doctor said to him.

Proctologist: A doctor who puts in a hard day at the orifice.Proctologist: A brain surgeon for lawyers.Proctologist: the rare profession in which the M.D. starts out at the bottom and stays there.

Two proctologists are discussing their most baffling cases.One proctologist tells the other one about the time he put his hand into a patient and pulled out a large bouquet of flowers.The other proctologist looked really amazed and asked, "Where did those flowers come from?"The other proctologist answered very cooly, "How should I know. There wasn't any card!!"

A man went into the proctologist's office for his first exam. The doctor told him to have a seat in the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes.
Well, when the man sat down in the examination room, he noticed that there were three items on a stand next to the doctor's desk: a tube of vaseline, a rubber glove, and a beer.
When the doctor came in, the man said, "Look Doc, this is my first exam... I know what the vaseline is for... and I know what the glove is for... but what's the BEER for?" At this instant, the doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door.
The doc flung the door open and yelled to his nurse, "Come on, nurse!!!... I said a BUTT LIGHT!"