Card Jokes

A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe". Mom was puzzled at first, but then went the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good till the last drop."
Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Benson & Hedges". Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack: "Extra long. King Size".
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another more...

A man had his VISA stolen but he decided not to report it as the thief was spending less than his wife did!

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. Captain: Who's car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card. The driver more...

A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mum was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe." Mum was puzzled at first, but then went the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good till the last drop." Mum blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Benson & Hedges." Mum now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack: "Extra Long. King Size." She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mum waited for a week, nothing. Another week went more...

Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn’t Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus’ birthday.