Video Jokes

Bad: You can't find your vibrator. Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it. Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room. Worse: You're in it. Bad: Your children are sexually active. Worse: With each other. Bad: Your husband's a cross dresser. Worse: He looks better than you. Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism. Worse: As a sacrifice. Bad: Your wife wants a divorce. Worse: She's a lawyer. Bad: Your wife's leaving you. Worse: For another woman. Bad: Your wife's leaving you. Worse: To enter a convent. Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting. Worse: She implicates you. Good: Hot outdoor sex. Bad: You're arrested. Worse: By your husband. Good: The postman's early. Bad: He's wearing camos and has an AK-47. Good: The secretary said "yes." Bad: Your wife says "no." Good: The teacher likes your son. Bad: Sexually. Worse: He's gay. Good: You came home for a quickie. Bad: So did the postman. Good: You came home for a quickie. Bad: Your wife walks in. Good: You get a more...

Via AP news

A student was arrested for uploading a video on YouTube about how to make a remote control bomb using a toy remote.

Ironically, my family had to talk me out of making a remote controlled bomb for my 8th grade science fair. I was disgruntled from my 7th grade science fair where I made a “Light Sensory Burglar Alarm System” that wasn’t even considered for a prize. Meanwhile, my friend's “Simpson Quiz Game” (which I had to help him with) got 2nd place. When I asked my science professor what he thought of my project he said, “Very good… did your dad help you with that?” I wanted to punch him in the face.

Admittedly, my bomb wouldn’t have hurt anyone.. you press the button.. a little smoke comes out.. then a sign pops up that says, “No, my dad did not help me with this.”

It was then that I decided to give up on the education system and just tell jokes… true story.

Copied from Houston Chronicle Columnist, Jim Barlow.
Department of Unusual Marketing: Johnson & Johnson has a continuing contract with a number of Web sites devoted to the stock market. When the stock market falls by at least 100 points, banner ads for the company's headache remedies appear on the sites.
News Releases I Never Got Around to Finishing: "The recent U.S. presidential election left a number of people wondering if their vote really counts. But with GetMusic's new music video voting tool, Hot or Not, every vote matters. Launching today on GetMusic.com (www.get-music.com)... "
Job Title of the Month: A Build-A-Bear Workshop is a retail chain that allows customers to design their very own stuffed bear. Maxine Clark is Chief Executive Bear.
And speaking of animals, The You're Probably Not Surprised Award to rapper Snoop Dogg's new venture, a porn video called Doggystyle. While the Dogg performs in the video, he keeps his clothes on.
Our Say What? more...

I went to the video shop and said "Can I have Batman Forever" - he said "No, just until tomorrow". I said "What about Another 48 Hours?". He said "No, tomorrow". I said "Have you got Spaceballs", he said, "No I'm just wearing baggy trousers".

A blonde is driving home one evening and decides to try something new, so she pulls into the video store to rent a porno. She chooses the title she likes best and drives home, then puts on something comfortable and inserts the video into her VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the tape, so she calls the store and explains what happened. The clerk asks her the name of the tape, and she says, "Head Cleaner."