Video Jokes / Recent Jokes

Here's why. ...........

According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's, or even maybe the early 70's probably shouldn't have survived.

Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets,. .. and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets.

Not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seatbelts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this.

We would spend hours building more...

My wife and I are both the youngest child. Combine that with our own experience as parents and we often satirically talk about how things change as you have more children:
The First Step
First child: My wife grabbed the camera; I grabbed the video camera. My wife took four rolls of film. We immediately ran out to the one-hour developing place and had all four rolls developed with double prints. We had the best picture blown up to 24" x 36" and framed. We hung it up in the entry hall. I had a professional studio turn the four hours of video I taped into a one-hour documentary complete with voice-over by a local anchor-man.
Second child: We took one roll of film and five minutes worth of video. The next day we took the film and had it developed by a twenty-four hour developing center. I took the best picture and put it into my wallet.
Third child: We couldn't find the video camera and we only had five shots left on the roll of film. We took all five shots but I more...

My wife and I are both the youngest child. Combine that with our own experience as parents and we often satirically talk about how things change as you have more children: Feeling the Baby MoveFirst Child: I placed my hand on my wive's tummy every chance I could for two months waiting for that first time when I could feel the baby move. Hours upon hours I waited until that magic moment when, I felt this little movement. We called all of our relatives to tell them about the blessed experience.Second Child: When it first happened, my wife called me at the office. I quickly ran home and felt the baby move. We included the experience in all of our letter to our family.Third Child: She told me the baby moved. I told her I would check it our during the next commercial break. I missed out because her mother called on the telephone so I went on watching Monday night football. By the end of the third quarter, I finally felt the baby move.Fourth Child: We were in bed and I was trying to sleep. more...

A blonde is driving home one evening and decides to try something new, so she pulls into the video store to rent a porno. She chooses the title she likes best and drives home, then puts on something comfortable and inserts the video into her VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the tape, so she calls the store and explains what happened. The clerk asks her the name of the tape, and she says, "Head Cleaner."

A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done
before, so she sets out to rent her first x-rated adult
video. She goes to the video store and, after looking
around for a while, selects a title that sounds very
stimulating.
She drives home, lights some candles, slips into
something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR.
To her disappointment though, there's nothing but static
on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.
"I just rented an adult movie from you and there's
nothing on the tape, but static."
"Sorry about, that," replied the store clerk. "We've had
problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you
rent?"
Replies the blonde, "It's called,' Head Cleaner'."

1. You yell and scream for help, and when it comes you ask for the remote.
2. It is a workout to play high intensity video games.
3. You decide to be a republican because you bought a truck with a republican sticker on it.
4. You sell your step-brother's stuff on e-bay for video game money.
5. You've hired someone to laugh at these jokes for you.
6. You shop online even though it's more expensive because you don't want to leave your house.
7. You died of a preventable illness because going to the doctor would take actual work.
8. You've hired someone to sleep with your wife because it's to "hard".
9. You have the sofa in the back of the Guiness 2000 book.
10. You, your wife, and kids all live with your mom.

A Japanese gamer known as Sal9000 recently legally married Nene Anegasaki, a virtual video game character from the Nintendo DS dating simulator "Love Plus".

When asked why he chose to legally marry a video game character, he replied "receiving a virus from her is much more "penis friendly" than with your ordinary woman."