Boat Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life- until the boat sank.

He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies... Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

"I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."

"O, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material I found on the island; the oars were whittled from gum tree branches; I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus more...

one day there was a jamaican guy a italian guy and a spanish guy. They were on a cruise but all of a sudden the boat started to sink so they each through something off. The italian guy threw off a bottle of wine and says we got plenty of that in our country. Next the jamaican guy throws a box of blunts and says we got plenty of that in my country. Then the spanish guy throws off a bag of rice and says i got plenty of that in my country. Lastly the american captain comes out and throws off the spanish guy and says we got plenty of them in my country

3 people were on a boat travelling. A japanese, A white Canadian, and a Tamil.
All of a sudden the boat started to sink. So the japanes man took all the gold, and silver and throw it overboard, so the tamil man said " hey why did you do that for"? The japanese man replied " we have a lot of that in our country"
The ship started sinking so the tamil man threw out his gun. So the white man asked " hey why did you do that for" So the Tamil replied " We have a lot of that in our country".
The ship kept sinking so the white man picked up the tamil man. Threw him over board. "hey why did you do that", said the Japanese man.
" WE HAVE A LOT OF THOSE IDIOTS IN OUR COUNTRY"

Willie the Whale and his whale girlfriend, Monica, are swimming happily through the ocean when they come upon a boat. On seeing the boat, Willie says, "Hey, I've got a great idea! Let's swim up under that boat and blow out really hard through our blowholes!"
Monica says, "Oh, I don't know..."
"Come on, it'll be fun, come on, just this once!", says Willie.
Monica agrees and they swim up under the boat and blow out, capsizing the boat and sending hapless sailors into the briny blue.
As they are swimming away, Willie says, "Wow, that was fun, wasn't it? Hey! I've got another idea! Let's swim back there and eat all the sailors!"
To which Monica, exasperated, replies, "Look, I agreed to the blow job, but I'm not swallowing any seamen."

Day 1 Dear Emile, Thanks for da bird in the Pear tree. I fixed it las
night with dirty rice an it was delicious. I doan tink the Pear tree
would grow in de swamp, so I swapped it for a Satsuma.
Day 2 Dear Emile, Your letter said you sent 2 turtle dove, but all I got
was 2 scrawny pigeon.
Anyway, I mixed them with andouille and made some gumbo out of dem.
Day 3 Dear Emile, Why doan you sen me some crawfish? I’m tired of
eating dem darned bird. I gave two of those prissy French chicken to
Mrs. Fontenot over at Grand Chenier, and fed the tird one to my dog,
Phideaux. Mrs. Fontenot needed some sparring partners for her fighting
rooster.
Day 4 Dear Emile, Mon Dieux! I tole you no more of dem bird. Deez
four, what you call “calling bird” wuz so noisy you could hear dem all
da’ way to Lafayette. I used they necks for my crab traps, and fed the
rest of dem to the gators.
Day 5 Dear Emile, You finally sent more...

One day there was this preacher and he was having his usual sermon when all of a sudden it started raining, really, really, hard!!! After about 1 full hour of complete non-stop rain, they started making evacuations because the whole church was flooding, but the preacher just stood there in the ankle-deep water.
A guy in a car came up to him and said. "Preacher, Preacher you better get in here before you drown!"
But the preacher just replied "Don't worry God will save me."
The man then said "Whatever!" and drove away.
The water was now knee-deep and a guy in a raft came over to the Preacher and said "Preacher, Preacher you better get in here before you drown!"
Despite the second warning the Preacher just stood there and replied "Don't worry God will save me."
The man then said "Whatever!!" and rowed away in the orange raft.
The water was now waist-deep and a guy in a power boat came to the Preacher more...

Sven and Ole are sitting in the boat fishing, and nothing much is biting, and the conversation chances onto the topic of birth control, and so Sven says to Ole, "What do you and Lena do for birth control?" And Ole says "Oh we use the condom and ice cube method". And Sven says "I`ve never heard of that Ole, how`s it work?" And Ole says "Oh, well, when I go to put the condom on, I put a couple of those little ice cubes in first." And Sven says "Yimminy Ole, isn`t that awfully cold?" And Ole says "Yah sure it is Sven, but it really helps keep the swelling down."