Bondno Jokes

Reportedly heard on the Financial News Network yesterday.
New issue bonds by the government just came out:
Dole BondNo interest
Clinton BondNo principal
Gingrich BondNo maturity
Forbes BondNo taxes (for qualifying investors)
Buchanon BondOnly Americans can collect (foreign investors welcome)
Heidi Fleiss BondGuaranteed high interest until withdrawal but substantial penalty for early withdrawal