Books Jokes / Recent Jokes
A new list of the "World's Shortest Books":
STAYING HAPPILY MARRIED
-by Elizabeth Taylor
BEAUTY SECRETS
-by Janet Reno
HOME BUILT AIRPLANES
-by John Denver
DOWN HILL SKIING
-by Sonny Bono
HOW TO GET TO THE SUPER BOWL
-by Dan Marino
FLYING AT NIGHT
-by JFK, Jr.
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
-by Hillary Clinton
MY LIFE'S MEMORIES
-by Ronald Reagan
THINGS I CAN'T AFFORD-
by Bill Gates
MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
-by O. J. Simpson
THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
-by Dennis Rodman
THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH
-by the Ramseys
AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC OCEAN
AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS
DETROIT - A TRAVEL GUIDE
DR. KEVORKIAN'S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
HELLEN KELLER'S BIRDWATCHING GUIDE
A new list of the "World's Shortest Books":STAYING HAPPILY MARRIED-by Elizabeth TaylorBEAUTY SECRETS-by Janet RenoHOME BUILT AIRPLANES-by John DenverDOWN HILL SKIING-by Sonny BonoHOW TO GET TO THE SUPER BOWL-by Dan MarinoFLYING AT NIGHT-by JFK, Jr.THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL-by Hillary ClintonMY LIFE'S MEMORIES-by Ronald ReaganTHINGS I CAN'T AFFORD-by Bill GatesMY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. J. SimpsonTHINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY-by Dennis RodmanTHE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH-by the RamseysAMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC OCEANAMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERSDETROIT - A TRAVEL GUIDEDR. KEVORKIAN'S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHESMIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTETHE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORYHELLEN KELLER'S BIRDWATCHING GUIDE
A pair of chickens walk into a public library, find the librarian and say,' Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens want three books, and promptly gives them some. Without further ado, the chickens walk out.
Around midday, the two chickens are back and looking quite annoyed. One leans over to the librarian and says,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens want another three books and promptly gives them some more. The chickens leave as before.
About an hour later the two birds march back in, approach the librarian, looking very angry now and nearly shouting,' Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!'
The librarian is now starting to get worried about where all her stock is going. She decides to give them more books but also to follow them and find out what's happening.
She followed them out of the library, out of town, and into to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen.
She saw the more...
A new monk arrives at the monastery and is assiged to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. When he looks closer, however, he notices that they are copying copies, not the original books.
The new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out to the head monk that should there be an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies.
"We have been copying from the copies for centuries," says the head monk, "however, I must admit you make a very good point, my son."
The head monk then goes down to the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours pass and no one sees him, so one of the monks decides to go downstairs to look for him. When he arrives he hears loud sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and finds the old head monk leaning over one of the original books crying.
"What's wrong," he asks the old monk.
"The word is CELEBRATE!" more...
A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, not the original books. So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk says "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears a sobbing coming from the back of the cellar, and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying. He asks what's wrong. The old monk sobs, "The word is celebrate."
John, for heaven's sake, why can't you just talk to me once in awhile?" whined Mari.
"Huh?" John responded.
"Look around you!" she yells, as she points around the room. "All these books. Your head is always buried in books. You don't even know I'm alive!"
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"You know, sometimes I wish I were a book. Then you'd at least look at me."
"Hmmm," John mumbled in deep thought, "that's not a bad idea. Then I could take you to the library every few days and change you for something more interesting."