Borg Jokes / Recent Jokes
Picard "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?"Geordi "Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology."Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen. Riker looks puzzled. "What in the world is' Microsoft'?"Data turns to answer. "Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason called' Windows', through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate."Picard "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?"Data "Yes, Captain. But when' Windows' detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as an' upgrade'. The use of resources increases exponentially more...
New assimilation software turned out to be vaporware; back to square one when the supplier's 1-800 number was disconnected.
Assimilation of Locutus caused chaos as the Borg became caught up in a massive Sam Spade adventure game craze.
If Earth were assimilated, the commute from Borg home planet would be a killer drive.
Collective Borg decided a cube was to complicated a form - awaiting building of a new pyramid ship.
Earth was too blue for their tastes; they were hoping for an emerald green planet, something in a teal, with tasteful lavender clouds.
Bidding war for exclusive appearance in Coke or Pepsi commercials too agonizing a choice... returned home to rebuild decision circuits.
Earth too close to the sun... would ruin their cultivated pallor.
They heard that Worf bragged of personally kicking their butts if they showed their face in the sector again... began laughing for first time, haven't stopped yet.
$29 navigation chip failed... they now have more...
I am Clinton of Borg. You will not really be assimilated, exactly...
I am Janet Reno of Borg. Resisters will be barbecued. Waco is irrelevant.
I am Stephanopolous of Borg. It's not assimilation, it's diversity...
I am Hillary of Borg. Prepare to be. .. uh, I don't recall.
I am Madonna of Borg. Resistance turns me on.
I am Kojak of Borg. Who loves to assimilate ya, baby.
I am Ginsu of Borg. You WILL be ASSIMILATED, but wait! That's not all!
I am Hamlet, of Borg! Prepare to be...or not to be...
I am Oprah of Borg. So, why did you assimilate your husband?
I am Lancelot of Borg. Resistance is feudal.
I am Haskell of Borg. You resist well, Mrs. Cleaver.
I am Lennon of Borg. Imagine there's no assimilation...
I am Baez of Borg. What if we gave an assimilation and nobody came?
I am Opie of Borg. Can I assimilate' em, Pa?
I am Quayle of Borg. Speling is irelevante.
I am Smorgas of Borg. You will be marinated.
I am more...