Born Jokes / Recent Jokes
A new neigbour arrives. The kids meet. The local kid:"My mom was born in California! Where was your mom born?" The other kid answers, "Alaska". The first one replies:"Gee, then don't worry about it... I'll ask'er myself!"
When I'm born, I'm black. When I'm sick, I'm black. When I'm hot, I'm black. When I'm cold, I'm black, When I die, I'm black.When you're born, you're pink. When you're sick, you're green. When you're hot, you're red. When you're cold, you're blue. When you die, you're grey.And you call me coloured?
Q: Why couldn`t Jesus have been born in Sweden? A: It`s impossible to find 3 wise men there.
This is a collection of actual student bloopers collected by teachers from 8th grade through college.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a more...
Baby Girl in India Born with Two Faces
The baby...has been drawing a stream of curious observers and others who consider her a deity in this deeply religious Hindu-majority country. The girl has found easy acceptance in Kumar's large, extended family...."This child is very special to us," the baby's grandfather chimed in, gazing lovingly at the infant
So now we know the secret to not getting buried in the desert if you're born female in India: Deformity.
Batteries not included.
Been napping in front of the ion shield again.
Been playing with his wand too much.
Been playing with the pharmacy section again.
Been short on oxygen one time too many.
Been using her head as a mass driver.
Blew his O-rings.
Blew the hatch before the lock sealed.
Blocked one too many hockey pucks / soccer balls / punches with his head.
Blown/leaking head gasket.
Born a day late and like that ever since.
Born during low tide in the gene pool / swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool.
Born ugly and built to last.
Both oars in the water, but on the same side of the boat.
Brain is running on empty.
While I was dining out with my children, a man came over to our table, and we started talking.He asked where my kids go to school. I told him we home-schooled them.With a raised eyebrow, he asked if my husband is the sole breadwinner for our family. I said, "No, I also work. .. out of our home."Then, noticing our two-month-old son, he mentioned that his daughter had just had a baby, and he wondered what hospital our son was born in. "He was born at home," I answered.The man looked at me, then said, "Wow, you don't get out much, do you?"