Box Jokes / Recent Jokes

What is the difference between a wicker basket and a wicker box?
A wicker basket is what little red riding hood took to grandma's house.
A wicker box is what Elmer Fudd did to little red riding hood.

Rigby drove into the city with his girl to catch their first play at a theater. Rigby rushed up to the box office and said, "Gimme two tickets for tonight's show." "Sorry," said the box office attendant. "There are no seats left. We have only two standing rooms left." "Well, I'll be hog tied! Only two left in standing room!" said the farm boy. "Are they together?"

141. Q: Why did the blonde chick drown in the pool?
A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.


142. Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU?
A: Too many blondes were drowning.


143. Q: Why do blonds have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.


144. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A1:
10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
A2: Three... one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.


145. Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.


146. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.


147. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.


148. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets more...

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your drivers license? Driver: I dont have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see the owners card for this vehicle? Driver: Its not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: Thats right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owners card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: Theres a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. Thats where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. Officer: Theres a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. Captain: Whos car is this? Driver: Its mine, officer. Heres the owner card. The driver owned the more...

If you do, here's a preview of the READ ME FIRST page
Congratulations on your purchase of Windows 98 (c), the latest version of the world's #1 computer operating system from Microsoft.
Before using your new software, please take the time to read these instructions carefully. Failure to do so may further limit the terms of the limited warranty. Windows 98 (c) represents a significant technological improvement over Microsoft's previous operating system, Windows 95 (c). You'll notice immediately that "98" is a higher number than "95" a better than 3 percent increase.
But that's not all. Windows 98 (c) contains many features not found in Windows 95 (c), or in any competing computer operating system, (if there are any of course).
Among the improvements: faster storing and retrieving of files (not in all models), enhanced "Caps Lock" and back-space functionality, smoother handling, less knocking and pinging, an easy-to-follow 720-page User's more...

181. Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.


182. Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.


183. Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave at her.


184. Q: What do you call a smart blond?
A: A golden retriever.


185. Q: How do you check a blonde's IQ?
A: With a tire gauge.


186. Q: How does a blonde interpret
6. 9?
A: A 69 interrupted by a period.


187. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Doughnut seeds!"


188. Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.


189. Q: Why do blonds have two more brain cells than a cow?
A1: So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits.
A2: So that when you more...

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her
husband,
"I bet you don't know what day this is."
"Of course I do," he indignantly answered, going
out the
door to the office.
At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman
opened the door, she was handed a box containing
a dozen long stemmed red roses.
At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her
favorite chocolates arrived.
Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.
The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come
home.
"First the flowers then the chocolates, and then
the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a
more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!"