Box Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why did Rudolfo salute the box of Cornflakes in the supermarket? Because the label said General Foods.

A English man, a french man and a newfie are all constructions workers.
One day at lunch time English man opens his lunch box and finds a peanut
butter sandwich and say "if my wife makes me one more peanut butter
sandwich, I'm gonna jump off this building and kill myself. The french
man opens up his lunch box and finds a tuna sandwich and says "if my wife
makes me one more tuna sandwich, I'm gonna jump off this building and kill
myself". Then the Newfie opens up his lunch box and finds and egg salad
sandwich and says"if my wife makes me one more egg salad sanwich, I'm gonna
jump off this building and kill myself.
Sure enough, the next day at lunch, they all get the same sandwiches and
plunge to their deaths.
A few days later, at the funerals, the english mans wife says "only if
he told me he didn't like peanut butter sandwiches" The french mans wife
says"only if he told me he didn't more...

181. Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case? A: Branch Manager. 182. Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree. 183. Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? A: Wave at her. 184. Q: What do you call a smart blond? A: A golden retriever. 185. Q: How do you check a blonde's IQ? A: With a tire gauge. 186. Q: How does a blonde interpret6. 9? A: A 69 interrupted by a period. 187. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? A: "Oh look! Doughnut seeds!"188. Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold? A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out. 189. Q: Why do blonds have two more brain cells than a cow? A1: So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits. A2: So that when you pull their tits, they don't moo. 190. Q: Why aren't BLONDES good cattle herders? A: Because the can't even keep two calves together! 191. Q: Why don't blonds breast feed? A: Because they always more...

Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob
(last) (_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
(_) Billy-Jefferson
(Check appropriate box)

Age: ____
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

Occupation:
(_)Farmer
(_)Mechanic
(_)Hair Dresser
(_)Un-employed

Spouse's Name: __________________________

Relationship with spouse:
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet

Number of children living in household: ___

Number that are yours: ___

Mother's Name: _______________________

Father's Name: _______________________ (If not
sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade
completed)

Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home?
(Check appropriate more...

141. Q: Why did the blonde chick drown in the pool? A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool. 142. Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU? A: Too many blondes were drowning. 143. Q: Why do blonds have square boobs? A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box. 144. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies? A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties. A2: Three... one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit. 145. Q: Why don't blondes double recipes? A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees. 146. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? A: Proofreading. 147. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the W's. 148. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece. 149. Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping? A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard. 150. Q: Why more...

: 1. Being told to "Think Outside the Box" when I'm in the @#$%? box all day!

2. Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who is behind me.

3. Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gunfire.

4. That nagging feeling that if I just press the right button, I will get a piece of cheese.

5. Lack of roof rafters for the noose.

6. My walls are too close together for my hammock to work right.

7. Women: Damned near impossible to adjust your bra or slip without comment.

8. Men: Co-workers tend to stare when you take your pants off.

9. 23 power cords, 1 outlet.

10. Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.

11. When tours come through, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me.

12. Can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.

2000 Federal Census for North Carolina Last name: ________________ First name: (Check appropriate box) (_) Billy-Bob (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack What does everyone call you? (_) Booger (_) Bubba (_) Junior (_) Sissy (_) Other___________________ Age: ____ (if unsure, guess) Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (Check appropriate box) (_) Farmer (_) Mechanic (_) Hair Dresser (_) Unemployed (_) Dirty Politician (_) Preacher Spouse`s Name: _________________________ 2nd Spouse`s Name: _____________________ 3rd Spouse`s Name: _____________________ Lover`s Name: __________________________ Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box) (_) Sister (_) Brother (_) Aunt (_) Uncle (_) Cousin (_) Mother (_) Father (_) Son (_) Daughter (_) Pet Number of children living in household: _____ Number of children living in shed: ______ Number that are yours: ______ Mother`s Name: _______________________ (If not sure, more...