Box Jokes / Recent Jokes

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave
>> the confessional unmanned, he called a rabbi friend up and asked him
>> to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but >> the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him and show him >> what to do. The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the
>> confessional.
>>
>> In a few minutes a woman comes in and says "Father forgive me for I >> have sinned." The priest asks "What did you do?". The woman says "I
>> committed adultery." Priest: "How many times?" Woman: "Three times." >> Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more." >> A few minutes later another woman enters the confessional. She says >> "Father forgive me for I have sinned." Priest: "What did you do?"
>> Woman: "I committed adultery." Priest: "How many more...

Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, "Bless mefather for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman." The Priest says, "Is that you, Tommy? Tommy says "Yes father, it's me." The Priest says "Who was the woman you were with?" Tommy says "I cannot tell you, father, because I don't wantto ruin her reputation." The priest asks, "Was it Brenda O'Malley?" Tommy replies "No, father." The priest asks, "Was it Fiona MacDonald?" Tommy replies "No." The priest asks, "Was it Ann Brown?" Tommy replies "No." The priest asks, "Was it Mary Elizabeth O'Shea?" Tommy replies "No, father." The priest asks, "Was it Amy Thomas?" Tommy replies "No, father." The priest asks, "Was it little Cathy Morgan?" Tommy replies "NO father! I cannot tell you." The priest finally says, "Tommy, I admire your perseverance, but you must atone more...

Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road.... why?
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the
office

Andy wants a job as a signalman on the railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector puts this question to him: "What would you do if you realised that two trains were heading for each other on the same track?" Andy says, "I would switch the points for one of the trains." "What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector. "Then I'd dash down out of the signal box," said Andy, "and I'd use the manual lever over there." "What if that had been struck by lightning?" "Then," Andy continues, "I'd run back into the signal box and phone the next signal box." "What if the phone was engaged?" "Well in that case," persevered Andy, "I'd rush down out of the box and use the public emergency phone at the level crossing up there." "What if that was vandalised?" "Oh well then I'd run into the village and get my uncle Silas." This puzzles the more...

Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed totake one item with them to help them occupy their time whileincarcerated. On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So, what did youbring?" The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that heintended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the"Grandma Moses of Jail". Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?" The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and said, "I broughtcards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any number of games." The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What didyou bring?" The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said, "I broughtthese!"The other two were puzzled and asked, "What on earth can you do withthose?" He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well according to thebox.. I can go horseback more...

The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, “What do you have in there, pal? ”
“A mongoose. ”
“What for? ”
“Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I’m scared to death of snakes. That’s why I got this mongoose, for protection. ”
“But, ” the friend said, “you idiot! Those are imaginary snakes. ”
“That’s okay, ” said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of the box, “So is the mongoose. ”

A preacher was told by his doctor that he had only a few weeks left to live.
He went home feeling very sad, and when his wife heard the sad news she said to him, "Honey, if there's anything I can do to make you happy, tell me."
The preacher answered, "You know, dear, there's that box in the kitchen cabinet with what you always called "your little secret" in it and you said you never would want me to open it as long as you lived. Now that I'm about to go home to be with the Lord, why don't you show me what's in that secret box of yours?"
The preacher's wife got out the box and opened the lid. It contained $100, 000 and three eggs.
"What are those eggs doing in the box?" the preacher asked.
"Well, Honey," she replied, "every time your sermon was really bad I put an egg in the box."
Now the preacher had been preaching for over forty years, and seeing only three eggs in that old shoe box, he started more...