Boy Jokes / Recent Jokes
On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.
The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said,' I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!'
'That's right!' shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said.' I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!'
'That's right!' shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.' Is it wine?' she asked.
'No,' the boy answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.' Is it champagne?' she asked.
'No,' the boy answered.
Finally, the teacher said,' I give up. What is it?'
The boy replied,' A puppy!'
A mother and her child were at a wedding. A little boy looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?" His mom replies, "The bride is in white because shes happy and this is the happiest day of her life." The boy thinks about this, and then says, "Well then, why is the boy wearing black?"
1. Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: The Gate of Heaven". Below
that was a small cardboard sign which read: "Please use other entrance."
2. Rev. Warren J. Keating, Pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of Yuma, AZ, says that the best
prayer he ever heard was: "Lord, please make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am."
3. A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What Denomination?"
Asked the clerk. "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well give me 50
Baptist and 50 Catholic ones."
4. On a very cold, snowy Sunday in February, only the pastor and one farmer arrived at the village
church. The pastor said, "Well, I guess we won't have a service today." The farmer replied:
"Heck, if even only one cow shows up at feeding time, I feed it."
5. During a children's sermon, Rev. more...
An old man is sitting at a table with his son and his new grandson.
The old man looks at his son and asks...
"Son, have you found out what that boy of yers is gonna be yet when he grows up?"
The man curls his eyebrows and asks "huh?"
The old man gets up and says "wait right here."
About five minutes pass and the old man comes back with a bottle of beer, some poker playing cards, and a bible.
The old man lines up the three items in front of the infant and looks at the man and says:
" Ok, here's how it works...
If the boy grabs the beer he's gonna be a drunk.
If he grabs the cards he's gonna be a gambler.
If he grabs the bible he's gonna be a preacher."
The baby stares at the items for a moment.
He then reaches out and grabs all three items.
The old man shouts...
"HOT DANG SON - HE'S A DEMOCRAT!"
A little boy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after classstarted, he realized that he desperately needed to go tothe bathroom. So he raised his hand politely to ask ifhe could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, butasked him to be quick. Five minutes later he returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can't find it", he admitted. The teacher sat him down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be ableto find it now. The boy looked at the diagram, said "yes"and goes on his way. Five minutes later he returned to the class room and saysto the teacher "I can't find it". Frustrated, the teacher asked Jon, a boy who has been atthe school for awhile, to help him find the bathroom. So two fellas go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats. The teacher asks Jon, "Well, did you find it?" Jon is quick with his more...
A little boy is waiting for his mom to come out of the changing room while shopping with her. The little boy gets bored and when his mom comes out, she finds him sliding his hand up a dummy's skirt.
"GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE!" she shouts. "DON'T YOU KNOW THAT WOMEN HAVE TEETH DOWN THERE!"
The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his lucky stars that nothing serious happened. So, for the rest of his life, this poor little boy grows up thinking that all women have teeth down below.
By the time he reaches 16, he finds himself a girl. One night, while her parents were out of town, she invites him over for a little action.
After a few hours of making out and grinding on the sofa, she asks him to go a bit further.
"What do you mean?" he asks.
"Well, why don't you put your hand down there?" while pointing to her privates.
"HELL NO!" he cries. more...
A small boy was asked by his teacher, "What is the size of the Democratic Party?" "About 5 feet 2 inches," he replied promptly. "NO!" exploded the teacher.. "I mean, how MANY members does it have? How did you get 5 feet 2 inches?" "Well," replied the boy, "my father is 6 feet tall and every night he puts his hands to his chin and says.. "I've had it up to HERE with the Democratic Party!"