Boy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mother: "Did you know that God was present when you stole that cookie from the kitchen
"Yes" replied the small boy.
"And he was looking at you all the time" - said mother.
"Yes" said the boy
"And what do you think he was saying to you?"
"He was saying - "There's no one here but the two of us - take two!"

A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame. The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually. So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open. The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?" Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger i n the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the more...

A young boy asked his mother, "Ma, is it true that people are put together like machines? You know, with separate parts you put together?"
"Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?" replied his mother.
The young boy answered "The other day, Daddy was talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he screwed the ass off his secretary."

On the boy's 14th birthday, he went to his dad and said, "Dad, I am 14 years old today. Can I drive your Ferrari?"
Dad said, "Son, can your dick reach up to your arse?" The son replied, "No, Dad."
Dad replied, "Then you can't drive my Ferrari"
When the boy was 16 he went to his dad and said, "Dad, I am 16 years old today. Can I drive your Ferrari?"
Dad said, "Son, can your dick reach up to your arse?" The son replied, "No, not yet, Dad."
Dad said "Then you can't drive my Ferrari"
On the boy's 21st birthday, he went to his dad and said, "Dad, I am 21 years old today. Can I drive your Ferrari?"
Dad said, "Son, can your dick reach up to your arse?" The son replied, "Yes Dad, my dick is now long enough to reach my arse".
Dad said "Then go and screw yourself, but you can't drive my Ferrari"

A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat. "I'm the greatest hitter in the world," he announced.
Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed.
"Strike One!" he yelled. Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" He tossed the ball into the air.
When it came down he swung again and missed. "Strike Two!" he cried.
The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spit on his hands and rubbed them together.
He straightened his cap and said once more, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed. "Strike Three!"
"Wow!" he exclaimed. "I'm the greatest PITCHER in the world!"

A woman and her little boy were walking through a park in New York and they pass two squirrels having sex. The little boy asks his mom, "Mommy, mommy, what are they doing?" The lady responded, "They're making a sandwich." Then they pass two dogs having sex and the little boy again asks what they were doing. His mother again replied they were making a sandwich. A couple of days later the little boy walks in on his mother and father and said "Mommy, Daddy, you must be making a sandwich because, Mommy has mayonnaise all over her mouth!!!"

A young boy had justgotten his driving permit.
He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the family car.
His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little, and get your hair cut,
then we will talk about it."
A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if
they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but you didn't get a hair cut!"
The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know dad,
I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair,
Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."
His father replied,"Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!"