Boys Jokes / Recent Jokes

How Does a Person Decide Who to Marry?
"You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one." Kally, age 9
"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." Allan, age 10
"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you got to find out later who you're stuck with." Kirsten, age 10
Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married
"Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then!" Cam, age 10
"No age is good to get married at... You got to be a fool to get married!" Freddie, age 6
How Can a Stranger Tell if Two People are Married?
"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people." Eddie, age 6
"You might have to guess based on whether they seem to more...

It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the phone rang.
"Hello?" I said.
A girl's voice came over the line. "Can I speak to Ben, please?"
I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number and I was bored.
I replied, "I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?"
"Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded.
"I think he said he'd be home around 10:00."
Silence on the other end... a confused silence.
"Is this Steve?"
My name isn't Steve, either. This was definitely a wrong number.
So I replied, "Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben?"
"Well... he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him," she said in a slightly irritated voice.
I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said that he would be back at more...

"Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are created equal; but boys and girls are not born the same.
1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.
2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your
home to the church, even if you're driving there.
3. Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.
4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.
5. When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they more...

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.The first one says:"Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow". The second one says:"Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet". The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says:"You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45!!"

One summer spring afternoon little Timmy wanted to use the little boys room, to his suprise when he walked in his mommy was taking a bath and humming away to her suprise seeing little timmy who was only three she tries to cover herself as fast as she could, but little timmy being curious as he was ask mommy,
what is that black mushy thingy just under her belly button, as shocked as she was she replys comly, " now Timmy thats mommy's sponge." That was a reasonable answer for a curious little timmy so he wonders off to his daily activities, The summer rolls around and Timmy was on his way to the little boys room,
and to his suprise he runs in to mommy in the shower and this time something was different to his eyes so he asks, " mommy where is ur sponge?" As shocked as she was she replys, "Timmy I lost it when I cleanded the bathroom last week. timmy sadened by this promises his mother that he would do every thing to
find her the sponge. Later that more...

3 young boys were walking along a river bank when they saw a man drowning in the river. Together they manage to pull him out.
When they pulled him out they notice that it is in fact George Bush, leader of the free world.
George Bush says to the boys, "Thank you oh so much! In return for you kindness, I will give each of you whatever you desire."
He turns to the first boy, "What would you like?"
The boy says, "I'd like a bike, but not just any bike, a bike with all the whistles and gadgets it could possibly have!"
George Bush says, "And you shall have it!" He turns to the second boy, "And what about you?"
The boy goes, "I'd like a huge house for all 12 members of my family, a huge mansion in the country, with many bedrooms and many bathrooms!"
George Bush says, "And so you shall!" and finally the third boy, "What do you require?"
The third boy goes, "A state more...

Mother calls up stairs, "You boys better get down here and eat your breakfast or you'll be late for school!"
As they are ambling down, the 5-year-old turns to the 4-year-old, stops and says, "Today we're gonna learn to swear!" The 4-year-old gives a fearful look.
The 5-year-old continues, "When we get to the table, I'll say 'hell' and you say 'ass'!" The 4-year-old agrees with reservation.
They seat themselves at the table. Mother greets them. "Good morning boys! What would you like for breakfast?"
The 5-year-old leans back and cocks his head... "Hell Mom! I'll have Cheerios!"
He is promptly escorted to another room while the 4-year-old seated at the table grimaces upon hearing the wailing cries of big brother getting a serious licking.
Mother returns with sniffling 5-year-old. She turns to 4-year-old and says compassionately, "Well now, what would you like for breakfast?"
The 4-year-old replies, more...