Brad Jokes / Recent Jokes

Angelina and Brad Pitt have filed papers and requested to change their newly adopted son’s surname to Pax Thien Jolie-Pitt.

According to thier publicist's the couple was tired of calling him Pax Thien, Asian #12.

A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?" His father looks up, thoughtfully, and says, "I'll demonstrate it for you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."
The kid is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what his father means. He asks his mother, "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?" His mother looks around slyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, "Don't tell your father, but yes, I would." Then he goes to his sisters room and asks, "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?" His sister looks up and says, "Omigod! Definitely!"
The kid more...

Brian and Brad are co-workers. Brian comes to work on Monday with a black eye.
Brad: What happened man?
Brian: You won't believe that this happened in church last Sunday.
Brad: How come that happened in church?
Brian: I sat in the church right behind this beautiful lady with a slinky pinky dress. When she stood up one time, her dress got stuck in her butt and it was pretty unpleasant. So, as a gentleman's gesture, I pulled it out the slowest I could hoping she wouldn't feel it. She turned around and hit me the hardest she could.
Brad: Man, that's the stupidest thing to do. You are an idiot.
Brian: I know man.
Next Monday, Brian comes again with a red eye.
Brad: What happened this time?
Brian: You wouldn't believe that this happened again in church.
Brad: Ok.. Go ahead.
Brian: I sat at my usual place, but the same woman came and sat in front of me with a similar dress. When she stood up, the same thing happened again to her dress. more...

A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?" His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll display it to you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned. "The kid is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what his father means. He asks his mother, "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?" His mother looks around slyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, "Don't tell your father, but, yes, I would." Then he goes to his sisters room and asks her, "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?" His sister looks up and says, "Omigod! Definitely!"The more...

The school teacher was furious when Brad knocked him down with his new bicycle in the school yard. "Dont you know how to ride that yet?" he roared. "Oh yes!" shouted Brad over his shoulder. "Its the bell I cant work yet.

Angelina and Brad announce they are moving to New Orleans. They are moving there to be left alone. The couple said they would have made the move sooner but the had to give the paparazzi time to settle back in.

A challenge for a joke on Pithecanthropus met with a suitably lame response:
Brad the caveman was wandering around the steamy jungle when he was attacked by a sabertooth tiger.
During the tussle they both fell into a hole dug by Brad's tribe, who were the first ever humans to try this method of catching animals for food. The tribe hearing the noise of the fight raced to the hole, which they called a Pit and were joined by another tribe, who were still using the throw-stones at the animal method.
The Headman from this latter tribe couldn't work out what was going on and looking down thought that Brad must be a new type of man. The Headman grunted "nggh mfguk wolhj" (or "What him be?").
At that moment Brad got the upper hand on the largest member of the cat family and lifting the big pussy up flung it out of the pit.
The Headman of Brad's tribe arrived and asked what had happened to which one of his tribe pointed at the hole and said more...