Brags Jokes

A cantor brags before his congregation in a booming, bellowing voice: "Two years ago I insured my voice with Lloyds of London for $750,000."
There is a hushed and awed silence in the crowded room. Suddenly, from the back of the room, the quiet, nasal voice of an elderly woman is heard, "So what did you do with the money?"

A young single guy next door brags to John that he is planning a wild sex party.
Who's invited, asks John.
Well, you John, your wife...
Count me out, says John.
No problem!