Break Jokes / Recent Jokes
October 14, 1947 - Pilot Chuck Yeager flew the Bell X One rocket plane and became the first person to break the sound barrier.
BREAKING THE SOUND BARIER?
The New York Times reports that Nathan P. Myhrvold, Microsoft's chief technology officer, working with a paleontologist, has developed a computer model that provides evidence that some dinosaurs may have been able to use their tails like bull whips, creating a cannon-like sonic boom by exceeding the speed of sound with the last few inches of the tail. Thus, dinosaurs, and not Chuck Yeager, may have been the first life forms on the planet to break the sound barrier.
It struck me as somehow appropriate that Microsoft's CTO would concern himself with how to make a dinosaur go so fast. Sandy (AKA Ms Sam)
Chuckles Of Choice Web Site
The fast
One Yom Kippur during the break after shacharis and before mincha, Rabbi Menzies sees a very worried looking Morry Schwartz walking towards him. His face is white and his eyes are bloodshot. He stands in front of the Rabbi, sweating and out of breath.
"Please Rabbi," he says, "I must have a drink of water. I`m so thirsty and dry. I can’t stand it any more."
Rabbi Menzies is astonished and replies, "Don`t you realise what you are asking? Today is Yom Kippur, when we fast and beg for forgiveness, and you come to me and tell me that want to drink and break your fast? Be strong and do not give in!"
Morry is in tears, "Please Rabbi, just a small drink. I can`t take it anymore!"
But Rabbi Menzies is not an unkind man, and is touched by Morry’s suffering. He thinks for a while and says "Alright." He calls over the shammes, "give Morry a teaspoon of water."
The teaspoon of water is given to more...
Computer users are divided into three types:
Novice, Intermediate and Expert.
Novice Users - People who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate Users - People who don`t know how to fix their computer after they`ve just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert Users - People who press the keys that break other people`s computers.
Ebonics Version of Windows ‘98 Debuts!
Microsoft has announced that its special Ebonics version of Windows 98, titled “It be a fresh Window. ” It has been leaked to several suburbs, causing confusion for unsuspecting users.
There are numerous differences between Windows 98 and the Ebonics version.
When opening the Ebonics version, the familiar windows chime is replaced With a “phat getto track that melts ‘em down wit dope-ass bass, ” The opening screen features a Windows logo that is spray painted on a brick wall - along with several gangsta signs, slogans and shout outs.
On the main screen, My Computer is replaced with “Dis My Shit. ”
The Recycle Bin has been replaced with a Goodwill dumpster.
If users are logged on to a network, the Network Neighborhood is replaced With “Da Hood. ”
Users have their choice of two animated screen savers: “Marquee, ” a lil’ G spray- painting dirty words that move across the screen; or more...
The smartest dogs are the Jack Russell Terrier and Scottish Border collie. Dumbest: Afgan hound.
A rat can go without water longer than a camel can.
The fat molecules in goat's milk are 5 times smaller than those found in cow's milk. It takes 20 minutes for the stomach to break down as opposed to the hour that it takes to break down cow's milk.
During a break on a North Dakota office building project, one of the construction workers approached Pyle. "Ah heard the boys is gonna strike," he said. "What fer?" asked Pyle. "Shorter hours." "Good fer them!" said the redneck. "Ah always did think sixty minutes was too long fer an hour!"
A lady went skiing and halfway down the hill had to go to the bathroom. No facilities nearby, she decided to find a sheltered area, dropped her pants and proceeded to relieve herself.
Suddenly she found herself beginning to slide backwards. Out into the open and down the slope with her pants around her knees. She crashed and broke her leg.
The paramedics rushed her to the local hospital. Her doctor walked into her room laughing his head off. He said,"You're not going to believe this, but the guy in the next room claims he fell off the ski lift and broke his leg because he saw a naked lady skiing backwards down the mountain!
So, how did you break YOUR leg??"