Break Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?
A: She fell out of the tree.
Once some boys got together to play poker one night, after about 4 hours of playing, Tim had severe chest pains and suddenly slumped over, one of the gamblers who happened to be a doctor, examined him, and to everybodies shock, poor Tim had died of a heart attack. All his friends didn't know how to break the news to his wife, finally Johnny said:' I can be diplomatic about it and break the news gently!'. Johnny rang the bell at Tim's house, and when his wife answered the door, he calmly said to her:' Tim just gambled with us and lost 1, 000 dollars!' When Tim's wife heard this she said:' Tell him to just drop dead!' Johnny answered:' That's exactly what he did!'.
Jack: "My brother was sick and went to the doctor." John: "Is he feeling better now?" Jack: "No, he has a broken arm." John: "How did he break it?" Jack: "Well, the doctor gave him a prescription and told him no matter what happened, to follow that prescription. And the prescription blew out of the window." John: "How did he break his arm?" Jack: "He fell out of the window trying to follow the prescription."
The teacher had caught Johnny gambling several times. She requested a conference with Johnny's dad who admitted that he also had tried to break Johnny of his gambling habit. After many failed efforts, Johnny one day (after school) called the teacher a hypocrite.
"Why do you say that, Johnny," she asked.
"Because you are."
Again she asked, "why."
He said, "Because you're not a true blonde."
She demanded to know how much money Johnny had. It came to about $50. She bet him $50 dollars she was a true blonde. She went behind her desk and removed her panties. Then she stood with her back to the door and pulled her dress up showing her radiantly blonde pubic hair. Afterwards she called the father and told him what she had done "in Johnny's best interest."
The father moaned and groaned and cried, "Oh, no," numerous times.
The teacher said, "Look, I did more...
Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?A: She fell out of the tree.
Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but whips and chains excite me.