Breaking Jokes / Recent Jokes
It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 am and after 4 pm in Norfolk, Virginia.
Ducks quacking after 10 pm in Essex Falls, New Jersey are breaking the law.
In Quitman, Georgia, it is against the law for a chicken to cross any road within the city limits.
In McDonald, Ohio, farmers cannot march a goose down a city street. And fowl, particularly roosters, are prohibited from going into bakeries in Massachusetts.
In Kansas, it is illegal for chicken thieves to work during daylight hours.
In New York, frogs may be taken from their ponds from June 16 to September 30, but only between sunrise and sunset.
In Pennsylvania, no one is allowed to shoot bullfrogs on a Sunday.
In Arizona, the bullfrog-hunting season is permanently closed.
In Vermont, you can be fined if your pig runs in a public park without the permission of a selectman.
French Lick Springs, Indiana, once passed a law requiring more...
The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles (Yes, Guys, these are REAL.)1) Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life 2) Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed 3) Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth' Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye 4) Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure 5) How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? 6) How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life? 7) I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral 8) I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life 9) I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling 10) I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me 11) I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart. 12) I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You 13) I Wanna Whip Your Cow 14) I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck! 15) I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win 16) I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy 17) I'm Just A Bug On The more...
BREAKING NEWS: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT Bush to be smitten later today In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one nation, under God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule the Supreme Court`s decision that handed the White House to George Bush. "I`m not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this morning on a rare Today Show appearance, "but I`m sure as hell not going to lie back and let Bush get away with this bullshit." "I`ve watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote count in Florida `will never be known.` Well, I`m God and I DO know exactly who voted for whom. Let`s cut to the chase: Gore won Florida by exactly 20, 219 votes." Shocking political analysts and pundits, God`s unexpected verdict overrules the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to Al Gore, giving him a 289-246 victory. The Bush campaign is analyzing God`s Word for possible grounds for appeal. more...
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"
"How much for a season pass?"
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the days route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldnt get out of her room."You cant get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says Do Not Disturb!"
Dawn was breaking over the camp grounds. Tony and Steve were lying in their tent.' That was a terrible thunder and lightening storm last night,' Tony announced. Steve turned to him and said,' Why didn't you wake me up? You know I can't sleep during a storm!'
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
He continued:
"Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired:
"How much for a season pass?"