Breaking Jokes / Recent Jokes
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: "How much for a season pass?"
In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 am and after 4 pm in Norfolk, Virginia.
Ducks quacking after 10 pm in Essex Falls, New Jersey are breaking the law.
In Quitman, Georgia, it is against the law for a chicken to cross any road within the city limits.
In McDonald, Ohio, farmers cannot march a goose down a city street. And fowl, particularly roosters, are prohibited from going into bakeries in Massachusetts.
In Kansas, it is illegal for chicken thieves to work during daylight hours.
In New York, frogs may be taken from their ponds from June 16 to September 30, but only between sunrise and sunset.
In Pennsylvania, no one is allowed to shoot bullfrogs on a Sunday.
In Arizona, the bullfrog-hunting season is permanently closed.
In Vermont, you can be fined if your pig runs in a public park without the permission of a selectman.
French more...
When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law before the criminal gets arrested, we call him an accomplice. When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law after the criminal gets arrested, we call him a defense attorney
What do you call a person who assists a criminal in breaking the law before the criminal gets arrested?
An accomplice.
What do you call a person who assists a criminal in breaking the law after the criminal gets arrested?
A lawyer.
Hawk and Tom were talking in the bar. Hawk said," I just got kicked off the course for breaking 60."Tom looked at him, amazed. " Breaking 60? Thats amazing!"Hawk smiled and said," Yeah, I never knew a golf cart could go that fast!"
*Do You Love As Good As You Look?
*Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
*Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
*Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares
*How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
*Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
*I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
*I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
*I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart
*I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
*I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
*I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
*I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
*I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
*I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
*I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line - If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
*If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
*If My Nose more...
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students to point out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be off limits for all male students, and the male dormitory to female students. Anybody caught breaking these rules will be fined $40 the first time, $90 the second time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the third time will be fined a hefty $200. Are there any questions?"
At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?"