Breeder Jokes / Recent Jokes

Iris, my sister-in-law, is a long distance lorry driver. She decided to get a dog for protection for the long days and nights that she was away from home. As she studied a likely candidate, the breeder told her,' I must warn you that he doesn't like men.'

'Perfect', Iris thought and promptly bought the dog.

Some time later as she was leaving a transport café, two men approached her, in the car park, and Iris watched to see how her new' bodyguard' would react. It soon became clear that the breeder hadn't been joking, because as the men got closer, the dog ran under the nearest car and hid.

This Kentucky horse breeder had a filly that won every race in which she was entered. But as she got older she became very temperamental. He soon found that when he raced her in the evening, she would win handily, but when she raced during the day she would come in dead last. He consulted the top veterinarians and horse psychologists to no avail. He finally had to give up because it had become a real night mare.

Iris, my sister-in-law, is a long distance lorry driver. She decided to get a dog for protection for the long days and nights that she was away from home. As she studied a likely candidate, the breeder told her,' I must warn you that he doesn't like men.'
'Perfect', Iris thought and promptly bought the dog.
Some time later as she was leaving a transport café, two men approached her, in the car park, and Iris watched to see how her new' bodyguard' would react. It soon became clear that the breeder hadn't been joking, because as the men got closer, the dog ran under the nearest car and hid.

Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't any ducks out there, I'm not going hunting." So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, "Well I'm not going to go out. He only saw two ducks out there." Earl says, "You're going to take the dog's barks for the truth?" Earl doesn't believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets back he says, "I don't believe it where did you get that dog? There really are only two ducks out there!" Chester says, "Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want, you can get one from him, too." So Earl goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend Chester has. The breeder obliges and Earl brings the dog home, tells it to go out and look for ducks. Minutes later the dog returns with a stick in it's mouth and starts humping Earl's more...