Brick Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road.Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one morestep a car will run over you and you will die."The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him."Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?""I am your guardian angel," the voice answered."Oh yeah?" the man asked..."And where were you when I got married?"

Everyone hits a brick wall now and then; the trick is not to do it with your head.

A man plans his house perfectly, down to the last brick. He builds his house and ends up with one brick left. What does he do with it?
Answer: He throws it in the air.

A lady walks onto a plain with her dog. Dogs aren't allowed on the plane, thedog starts yapping and rthe flight attendant comes up to the lady and says "If youdon't shut up your dog i will throw it out the window". She tried all she could but she couldn't make it be quiet, so the man threw the dog out the window. But the dog died before it hit the ground. Why?
Answer: it hit the brick the man threw!

What does a brick and a fat lady have in common?
They both get laid by mexicans!

A self-centered, unbelieving man... ok a lawyer... died and was delivered into the devil's hands. "You will be spending eternity here, but I'll let you pick your own room from three I'll show you," the devil said.
In the first room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a brick floor. "I don't like that," said the man. "Show me the second."
In the second room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a wood floor. "Well, that's better than brick," the man said, "but show me the third."
In the third, thousands of people were standing ankle-deep in a room full of maggot infested garbage, all drinking coffee.
"I'll choose this room," he said.
Into the room he went and the door slammed behind him.
Immediately, the voice of a minor demon rang out, "O.K., coffee break is over, back on your heads."

After you lay a brick it doen't follow you around whining for
two weeks.

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked..."And where were you when I got married?"