Brick Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

During World War II, a US marine was separated from his unit on a Pacific island. The fighting had been intense, and in the smoke and the crossfire he had lost touch with his comrades.

Alone in the jungle, he could hear enemy soldiers coming in his direction. Scrambling for cover, he found his way up a high ridge to several small caves in the rock. Quickly he crawled inside one of the caves. Although safe for the moment, he realized that once the enemy soldiers looking for him swept up the ridge, they would quickly search all the caves and he would be killed.

As he waited, he prayed, Lord, if it be your will, please protect me. Whatever your will though, I love you and trust you. Amen.

After praying, he lay quietly listening to the enemy begin to draw close. He thought, well, I guess the Lord isn't going to help me out of this one.

Then he saw a spider begin to build a web over the front of his cave. As he watched, listening to the enemy more...

There were two workers digging in a ditch. Their supervisor was sitting against a brick wall reading a book.
After a while, one worker said to the other "How come we're over here working in the hot sun while he's over there reading a book?"
The other guy replied, "I don't know. Why don't you go ask him?"
So the first guy walked over to where the supervisor was sitting. The supervisor looked up and then went back to reading his book.
Finally the worker asked him, "How come you're over here reading, while we're digging in the sun?"
The supervisor looked at him for a moment and answered, "Intelligence." Then he continued reading.
After thinking about this for a minute, the worker asked, "How's that?"
The supervisor replied, "Let me show you." He held out his hand and said, "now, hit my hand as hard as you can."
The worker put down his shovel and proceeded to hit the supervisor's more...

What is the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A brick does not follow you around 2 weeks after you lay it.

whats the differanc between a blond and a brick u only can lay the brick only once.

What do a blonde and a screen door have in common? The more you bang them the looser they get. What is the difference inbetween a blonde and a brick? The brick only gets layed once.
What do a blonde and spaghetti have in common? The more you eat them the more they wiggle.

Thought 1:
The man says:
When we are born, our mother’s get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
Thought 2:
The average man’s life consists of - twenty years of having his mother ask
him where he is going;
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
And at the end, the mourners wondering too.
Thought 3:
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind: u take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you. ”
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.
The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die. ” The man did as he was instructed, just as a more...