Brick Jokes / Recent Jokes

A policeman is walking down the road when he sees a man with a brick tied to a dog leash. He decides to go and humor him. He walks up to the man and says, ”Hello, sir, I like your dog! ”
The man looks at the brick, then the policeman, and says, ”It’s not a dog, it’s a brick. ”
The policeman replies, ”Oh, sorry, I thought you were a bit mad, ” and walks off rather puzzled.
As the policeman goes out of sight, the man turns to the brick and says, ”That fooled him, didn’t it Rover? ”

A lawyer died and was delivered into the devil`s hands. "You will be spending eternity here, but I`ll let you pick your own room from three I`ll show you," the devil said.

In the first room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a brick floor. "I don`t like that," said the man. "Show me the second."

In the second room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a wood floor. "Well, that`s better than brick," the man said, "but show me the third."

In the third, thousands of people were standing ankle-deep in a room full of maggot infested garbage, all drinking coffee.

"I`ll choose this room," he said.

Into the room he went and the door slammed behind him.

Immediately, the voice of a minor demon rang out, "OK, coffee break is over, back on your heads."

Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
A. The joystick is wet.
Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?
A. To keep their ankles warm.
Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?
A. She sold her car for it..
Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?
A. Because they have blond boyfriends.

What's the difference between a blond and a brick?
When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around.

Hi, kids! Hope you all had a good weekend. I know we did up here at the
North Pole, because the first weekend in December is traditionally time
when we hold the Reindeer Games.

Which, not entirely coincidentally, brings us to today's letter from
Peter, from Chicago, who asks:

Dear Santa:

One of the saddest stories at Christmas is how Rudolph, the red-nosed
reindeer, wasn't allowed to join in all the reindeer games. Rudolph
became a hero, but we never actually found out what sort of games are
reindeer games. What kinds of games are they?"

Well, Peter, there are reindeer games, and then there are The Reindeer
Games. It's the difference between playing softball in the park with
your buddies, and participating in the Olympics. Anyone can play
reindeer games any time they want (even if you're not really a
reindeer). But it takes a special sort of deer to have the drive to be
in the more...

Yo Mamas like a brick she is flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans!

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked..."And where were you when I got married?" A man called the undertaker one afternoon and sobbed: "Come and bury my wife." "But I buried your wife ten years ago," replied the undertaker. "I got married again," the man sobbed. "Oh," said the more...