Brick Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick? A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.

*Thought 1* When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers. When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity. When we die, our widows get the life insurance. What do women want to be liberated from? * *Thought 2* The average man`s life consists of: Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going, Forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end, the mourners wondering too.* *Thought 3* A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, `If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.` The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, `Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.` The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. The man asked. `Who are more...

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die."The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him."Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?""I am your guardian angel," the voice answered."Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where were you when I got married?"

One day, a blonde decided to build a brick wall, so she went to a home depot.
While a worker was walking down an aisle, he saw the blonde walking around in circles looking confused, so he went over and asked her what she wanted to make. She answered that she wanted to make a brick wall.
Then the worker asked her what size; after thinking thoroughly she answered, "And they say blondes are stupid; how am I supposed to know? There is no fence to measure."

Thought 1
When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
Thought 2
The average man's life consists of:
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going, Forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end, the mourners wondering too.
Thought 3
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening more...

Three men were flying in a plane, when they decided to drop stuff on the town they were flying over. One dropped a book, one dropped a brick, and one dropped a bomb, just for fun. They then landed, to survey the damage they caused. The first thing they saw was a small child, crying and holding a book. Then they saw another small child, crying and holding a brick. Then they saw a small child laughing his head off. "What's so funny?" they asked him. "It was great," he said. "I farted and my neighbor's house blew up."

A Man was walking down the street, When he heard a Voice, “Don’t Take a Step Forward, B’coz a Brick is going to Fall”…
The Man Didn’t Move and the Brick Fell in Front of Him… The hr Walked Further…
Again the Voice, “Don’t Cross the Road, B’coz a Car will Hit You”… The Man Didn’t Move. A Car Screeching and almost missed him.
Now he asked, “Who Are You? ”
The Voice replied, “I’m Your Guardian Angel”.
The Man Asked, “Oh Yeah!!! If You are An Angel then, WHERE The HELL were YOU, WHEN I GOT MARRIED?.?.?. ”