Bridge Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was an englishman irishman and a scotsman who worked on a buildin site.
it was time for their dinner so the englishman opened his bait box and said "if i get cheese sandwiches tommorrow i will throw myself off that bridge" the scotsman and irishman say the same
so the next day comes and the englishman has cheese sandwiches so he jumps off the bridge
the scotsman looks and he also has cheese sandwiches so he jumps off the bridge and the irishman looks and he also has cheese sandwiches so he jumps off the bridge
at the funeral the wives meet up and the englishmans wife says "i could of just made him another kind of sandwich" the scotsmans wife says i would of got another kind of cheese" the irishmans wife says i do not know why he jumped he made his own sandwiches.

A truck driver was drivingalong on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." He tries to turn off but, before he knows it, the bridge is right there and he gets stuck under it. Cars arebacked up for miles. Finally, a police car comesup. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands onhis hips and says, "Got stuck huh?" The truck driver says,"No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas"

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have had the faith to ask, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to." The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me." The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I have been married and divorced four times. All of my wives said that I am uncaring and insensitive. I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they more...

A Texan lands in Sydney for the Olympics, and is picked up by a taxi. After requesting a tour of the city, he starts into a tirade about the small town airport and how in Texas they have larger runways on their ranches...

They are soon crossing the Sydney Harbor bridge, and the man is further unimpressed - "I have a duck pond bigger than that harbor, and an ornamental bridge to span it that makes this look like a toy".

The Sydney-Newcastle expressway also gets his scorn "Is this a road, or a track?"

So when a kangaroo jumped out in front of the cab, causing the sudden and severe application of the brakes, the driver couldn't help himself. ..."Stupid grass hoppers!"

This woman has her bridge club every Thursday night and after a peaceful game or two with the ladies, she goes home to fix her husband dinner when he gets home from work. Well, one Thursday, she's playing a great game and she has an incredible hand when she notices the time. "Oh, no! I have to go fix my husband his dinner! He's going to be so angry if it's not ready on time." And she dashes out of her friend's house, her great hand forgotten on the table. When she gets home, she realizes she has very little time, not enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she has in the cupboard is a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opens the can of cat food, stirs in the egg, and garnishes it with the lettuce leaf just as her husband is pulling up. She watches in horror as he sits down to his dinner, and then she realizes he is loving it! "Mmmm, darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in forty years of marriage. You can make this more...

Three men were engineers checking a bridge when out of nowhere this masked man pointed a gun at them and said, "If you want to live, you'll jump off the bridge and you'll survive."Well, the gunman turned around to take his mask off and when he turned around the engineers saw it was a construction worker."April Fools!"he yelled out as water shot out from the"gun".The first engineer looked at him and said,"Tell that to the man who jumped when you had turned around."

A truck driver was driving along and passed a sign that said "low bridge ahead." Before he knew it, the bridge was right ahead of him and he got stuck under it. Cars were backed up for miles. Finally, a police car pulled up. The cop got out of his car. He walked around to the truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver said, "No officer. I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas!"