Brother Jokes / Recent Jokes
THIS LITTLE BOY GOES UP TO HIS FATHER ONE DAY AND ASKS HIS FATHER WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REALISTICALLY AND POTENTIALLY.
HIS FATHER SAYS, "GO UP TO YOUR MOTHER AND ASK HER IF SHE WOULD HAVE SEX WITH ROBERT REDFERD FOR A MILLION DOLLARS. THEN ASK YOUR SISTER IF SHE WOULD SLEEP WITH BRAD PITT FOR A MILLION DOLLARS. THEN ASK YOUR BROTHER IF HE WAS SLEEP WITH TOM CRUISE FOR A MILLION DOLLARS."
SO THE BOY FINDS HIS MOM AND ASKS HER, "MOMMY WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH ROBERT REDFERD FOR A MILLION DOLLARS?"
THE MOTHER SAYS, "YES HE'S FINE AS HELL I'D SLEEP WITH HIM FOR A MILLION DOLLARS."
THE LITTLE BOY GOES UP TO HIS SISTER AND ASKS HER,"WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH BRAD PITT FOR A MILLION DOLLARS?"
THE SISTER SAYS, "HELL YEH HE'S HOT AS HELL."
HE GOES UP TO HIS BROTHER AND ASKS HIS, "WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH TOM CRUISE FOR A MILLION DOLLARS?"
THE BROTHER SAYS, "HELL YEH, I'D SLEEP WITH HIM FOR A MILLION more...
Little four-year-old Julie was looking at her new baby brother for the first time. He was fast asleep.
After staring at her tiny, motionless baby brother for a few minutes, Julie looked up at her mother and asked plaintively, "Didn't he come with batteries?"
A couple had two boys who were 8 and 10 years old and very mischievous. If there was ever any trouble in town, the couple knew the boys were involved. The mother was told about a local clergyman who was great at disciplining children, so she contacted him and asked if he would speak to her boys. He agreed to meet with them individually and she sent the younger boy to his office.
The clergyman was a huge man with a booming voice. He sat the young boy down and asked, "Where is God?" The boy's eyes grew wide and his mouth dropped open, but he didn't utter a sound. With much more strictness, the clergyman repeated the question, "Where is God?" Again, the boy didn't utter a sound, he just sat rigid in his seat.
Furious, the clergyman shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD?" The boy let out a scream, ducked out of the room, ran all the way home and hid under his bed.
When his older brother entered the bedroom and found him more...
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodka."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife!"
I found this joke someplace:
In middle school, I was always self-conscious about my height. Once I was asked out by a life-guard. I had never really stood next to him and didn't know how tall he was, so the night of the date I took out two pairs of shoes-one with heels, one flat. I arranged with my brother to answer the door, compare his height with my date's and run upstairs to let me know which shoes to wear. When doorbell rang I waited. Then my brother showed up and told me what I didn't want to hear: "Go barefoot."
Little four-year-old Julie was looking at her new baby brother for the first time. He was fast asleep.After staring at her tiny, motionless baby brother for a few minutes, Julie looked up at her mother and asked plaintively, "Didn't he come with batteries?"
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodka."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day." "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife!"