Brother Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Groaner
The abbey in England that was a bit down at the heels and decided to open a roadside stand to pull in some tourist money.
The abbot decided that something typically English was called for, so he sent Brother Sebastian and Brother Thomas down to the road to open a Fish and Chips stand.
A wit came by and asked Brother Sebastian, "Are you the fish friar?"
"No, friend," answered Brother Sebastian, "I'm the chip monk."
Slightly Vulgar
While on a special outing to take care of the abbey's business, Brother Sebastian found himself one day in his car, down in the ditch, and there was no help for the motor that had given up the ghost, it seemed.
Along came another motorist who stopped and asked, "I say, what seems to be the matter?"
"Oh, piston broke," said the friar.
"So am I, but w'at's the matter with the cah?"

The following are letters from children to GOD.

In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?
-Jane
I read the Bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me.
Love, Alison
Are you really invisible or is that just a trick?
-Lucy
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
-Anita
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
-Norma
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now?
-Jane
Who draws the lines around the countries?
-Nan
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
-Neil
What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything.
-Jane
Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother.
-Darla
Thank you for the more...

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says "Wow!, you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today, the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender says "Geez! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?".
"Yeah, my wife..."

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back...
"I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife..."

It seems that a young couple had just gotten married and spent their first wedding night with the young man’s parents. In the morning, his mother got up and prepared a lovely breakfast including freshly cut flowers from her garden and gourmet food.
She went to the bottom the stairs and called everyone to come down to breakfast. Everyone came down, except the newlyweds. After a long wait, the family ate without them.
The mother said, “I wonder why they never came down to eat? ”
The groom’s young brother said, “Mommy, I think…”
“Oh, shut up. I don’t want to hear what you think! ” said the mother, not wanting to hear any inappropriate comments from the eight-year-old.
At lunch time, the mother again prepared a wonderful spread and again called the young couple to eat. Five minutes went by and she called again. After another long wait, the family proceeded to eat.
As she was cleaning the table, mother once again said, “I wonder why they more...

The Pastor approaches his pulpit one Sunday and said, "Before we get started today I want you to know that there are rumors running rampant-I've heard that there are many of you out there been a He'n and a She'n out of wedlock-if you been then get up and get out of my church right now!"
Some couples got up and left.
Then he said, "Some of you been a He'n and He'n-I want you to get up and get out of my church right now!"
Some guys got up and left.
He says, "Some of you ladies been a she'n and she'n-leave my church right now!" Some women left.
Old Brother Brown in the back got up and was leaving.
Pastor asked, "Where you goin' Brother Brown?"
Brother Brown replied, "I know sooner or later you'll be gettin' to me'n and a me'n and I'm just gettin'a head start...

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."
The next day the same guy came into the bar and placed the same order for drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said "Darn! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife..."