Brush Jokes / Recent Jokes

A truck driver is heading west across the Arizona desert. He has been driving all night, and as the sun starts to rise, he feels the need to stop and commune with nature. He pulls to the side of the road, parks, and walks out into the sage brush.
As he is standing there, looking around at the beauty of the early morn, he notices a lever sticking out of the ground. After a few moments, he walks over, walks all the way around, and then reaches out to grasp the lever. Just as he does, he hears a voice say, "Don't touch that lever."
The driver jumps about two feet off the ground, and as he comes down, he looks around. No one is to be seen. Thinking it was just his imagination, he again reaches for the lever. Again the voice yells, "I said don't touch that lever!"
Being more prepared, the driver senses the location of the voice and looks down under a sage brush. There he sees a small snake.
The driver, in much astonishment, said, "Was that you that more...

Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out. After examining him, the dentist said, "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?" "Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!" "What do you brush with?" asked the dentist, "Preparation H," said the redneck.

(The story below is of my own telling; it is based upon a true
story told me by my uncle, but I have invented the name "Howard,"
inserted some opinions about "hunting shows," and changed the course
of events slightly.)
My uncle told me about one of his friends, Howard, who was hired to
participate in one of those "Saturday Sportsman" shows. His job was
to hide in the bushes, holding a pheasant, and release it at the
appropriate moment, so that it could be promptly shot down for the
pleasure of the viewing audience.
Howard's first brush with Hollywood was very exciting. Granted, no one
would ever see him, his name wouldn't be in the credits, but, at least it
was "Show Business!" Provided with a pheasant, and installed in a certain
stand of corn stalks, Howard waited for his cue to hurl the bird into
the air.
You, the viewer, don't see Howard, of course. You do see two more...

An army Major visiting sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks "What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic syphilis, Sir"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front, Sir"
"Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bad. "What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic piles, Sir"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front, Sir."
"Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic gum disease, Sir."
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get the wire more...

three soldiours were in hospital beds and the queen comes to visit them
she goes up to the first man whats wrong with you she says. scabs all over my stomach he says whats the cure she says.wired brush and dettol he says.whats youre ambition she says. to get back out and fight for my country he says.
goes up to the second man.whats wrong with you she says.scabs all over my face he says.whats the cure she says.wired brush and dettol he says.whats youre ambition she says to get back out and fight for my coutry he says
she goes up to the third man whats wrong with you she says.scabs all over my mouth he says.whats the cure she says wired brush and dettol he says.whats youre ambition she says to get the wired brush before these bastards he said

WORLD'S EASIEST
QUIZ!
FOR ALL OF YOU THAT WILL NEVER MAKE "WHO WANTS TO BE A
MILLIONAIRE"
OR EVEN "THE WEAKEST LINK"...HERE'S THE WORLD'S
EASIEST QUIZ! (Passing
requires 4 correct answers)
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October
Revolution?
5)
What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific
are named after what
animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
All done? Check your answers below!
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ANSWERS TO THE
QUIZ
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country
makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get more...