Brush Jokes / Recent Jokes

Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!

Tom, Dick and Harry were in the pub enjoying a few quiet drinks one night, when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle.
They bought five tickets each, seeing it was for charity. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize.
Tom won the first prize - a whole year's supply of Gourmet Spaghetti sauce.
Dick was the winner of the second prize - six month's supply of extra-long Gourmet Spaghetti.
And Harry won the sixth prize - a Toilet Brush.
When they met in the pub a week later, Harry asked the others how they were enjoying their prizes.
"Great," said Tom. "I love spaghetti."
"So do I," said Dick. "And how's the toilet brush, Harry?"
"Not so good," Harry said, "I reckon I'll go back to paper..."

For Christmas this year my wife purchased a week of private lessons at the local health club. Though still in great shape from when I was on the varsity chess team in high school, I decided it was a good idea to go ahead and try it. I called and made reservations with someone named Tanya, who said she is a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and athletic clothing model. My wife seemed very pleased with how enthusiastic I was to get started.
The club suggested I keep an "exercise diary" to chart my progress.
Day 1. Started the morning at 6: 00 AM. Tough to get up, but worth it when I arrived at the health club and Tanya was waiting for me. She's something of a goddess, with blond hair and a dazzling white smile. She showed me the machines and took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. She seemed a little alarmed that it was so high, but I think just standing next to her in that outfit of hers added about ten points. Enjoyed watching the aerobics class. Tanya was more...

An army Major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks -
"What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic syphilis, Sir!"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day, Sir!"
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front lines, Sir!"
"Good man!" says the Major.

He goes to the next bed.
"What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic piles, Sir!"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day, Sir!"
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front lines, Sir!"
"Good man!" says the Major.

He goes to the next bed.
"What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic gum disease, Sir!"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush more...

An army Major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks -

“What’s your problem, Soldier? ”

“Chronic syphilis, Sir! ”

“What treatment are you getting? ”

“Five minutes with the wire brush each day, Sir! ”

“What’s your ambition? ”

“To get back to the front lines, Sir! ”

“Good man! ” says the Major.

He goes to the next bed.

“What’s your problem, Soldier? ”

“Chronic piles, Sir! ”

“What treatment are you getting? ”

“Five minutes with the wire brush each day, Sir! ”

“What’s your ambition? ”

“To get back to the front lines, Sir! ”

“Good man! ” says the Major.

He goes to the next bed.

“What’s your problem, Soldier? ”

“Chronic gum disease, Sir! ”

“What treatment are you getting? more...

An army Major visiting the sick soldiers, went to one private and asked, "What's your problem, Soldier?"

"Chronic syphilis, Sir."
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front, Sir."
"Good man," said the Major.

He went to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic piles, Sir."
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front, Sir."
"Good man," barked the Major.

He moved to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic gum disease, Sir"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each more...

Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that made them claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, the boundary between their turf was a well traveled trail through the jungle.All day every day, both lions lay in the brush staring across the trail at their compatriot, daring him to cross into their territory.The local natives knew of this animal feud, but all this was unbeknown to African Jack, a well-known and must publicized guide who did not speak Lionese and was unfamiliar with the territory.While he was leading a safari through the jungle, walking all day and cutting vines with their machetes, all this constant hacking brush had them worn to a frazzle. After seeing two or three of his safari drop from exhaustion, African Jack decided to stop on the trail between these two lions and camp for the night.After sitting up camp, eating, and getting his safari more...