Bub Jokes

A police officer stopped a young man for speeding. He stepped out of his patrol car, adjusted his sunglasses, and swaggered up to the young man's window. "What chew driving so fast for boy? You going to a fahhr? Let me see your license, boy." The young man handed over his license. Then the officer noticed that the back seat of the car was full of large knives. The officer said, "Tell me boy, why you got them knives on that there back seat?" The young man replied, "Well sir, I'm a juggler." The officer spat some tobacco juice and then he said, "A juggler; well you don't say. Boy, put cha hands on the trunk of yer car; you going to jail!" The young man pleaded with the officer not to take him to jail. He offered to prove to the officer that he was a juggler by way of demonstration. He said, "You can even hold me at gunpoint while I juggle for you." The officer reluctantly allowed him to prove his point while he held him at gunpoint. Two more...

WORLD FAMOUS SOUTHERN TALKBECOME A NATIVE SOUTHERNERHow to talk native SOUTHERN in one easy lessonAig - What a hen laysAints - He's got aints in his paintsPaints - What cha put on your laigs of a morninArn - Ma's tard of arninBag - He bagged her to marry himBobbed - A bobbed wire fenceBresh - He had a bresh with the law, and the law won. Bub - the light bub burned outCheer - What you set inCrick - A small streamClum - He sure clum that tree fastern any' coonChiny - country over in AsiaChuch duds - Sunday go-to-meetin clothesCore - He got hisself a new Ford coreCyow - Animal on FarmDeppity - He helps out the shurfDribbed - He dribbed milk on his shirtDainz - Satidy night socialEllum - A graceful treeFanger - What you put your rang onFaince - Whats round the hawg lotFar - What get the brandin arn hotFurred - He got furred from his jobFlar - A rose is a purdy flarFrash - Them aigs ain't frashFuriners - All non-'bamansFurther - Hits ten miles further to townGrain - She was grain with more...

The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was zipping down Maple Avenue."Can I see your license and registration, bub?", the cop inquired."But officer," the fellow started, "I can explain...""Shut yer trap, bub!" snapped the officer. "You're going downtownand sit a while till the sarge gets back.""But, officer, I think you really should know...""And I said to shut yer trap! You're going to jail!"A few hours later the cop looked in on his prisoner and said,"Lucky for you that the sarge is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.""Don't count on it," shot back the sap in the cell. "I'm the groom."

WORLD FAMOUS SOUTHERN TALK
BECOME A NATIVE SOUTHERNER

How to talk native SOUTHERN in one easy lesson

Aig - What a hen lays

Aints - He's got aints in his paints

Paints - What cha put on your laigs of a mornin

Arn - Ma's tard of arnin

Bag - He bagged her to marry him

Bobbed - A bobbed wire fence

Bresh - He had a bresh with the law, and the law won.

Bub - the light bub burned out

Cheer - What you set in

Crick - A small stream

Clum - He sure clum that tree fastern any' coon

Chiny - country over in Asia

Chuch duds - Sunday go-to-meetin clothes

Core - He got hisself a new Ford core

Cyow - Animal on Farm

Deppity - He helps out the shurf

Dribbed - He dribbed milk on his shirt

Dainz - Satidy night social

Ellum - A graceful tree

Fanger - What you put your rang more...

The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was zipping down Maple Avenue." Can I see your license and registration, bub?", the cop inquired." But officer," the fellow started, "I can explain...""Shut yer trap, bub!" snapped the officer. "You're going downtownand sit a while till the sarge gets back." "But, officer, I think you really should know...""And I said to shut yer trap! You're going to jail!"A few hours later the cop looked in on his prisoner and said,"Lucky for you that the sarge is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," shot back the sap in the cell. "I'm the groom."