Bucks Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bill Clinton was out for his morning jog when he saw a hooker. As he was passing her, he said, "20 bucks".
"Not a chance," she replied.
The next morning Bill and Hillary were both out jogging together when they saw the same hooker.
As they were jogging by, she yelled out, "See what 20 bucks gets you?"

A man walks into a bar and sits down. He notices a foot-tall piano player playing up a storm.
Man: Hey, this guy's really good! Where'd you get him?
Barkeep: Oh, I have a magic lamp that gives me anything I want.
Man: Can I try?
Barkeep: Sure just rub it and say what you want.
Man (rubbing the lamp): I wish for ten thousand bucks.
* Ten thousand ducks appear *
Man: What the hell happened? I asked for 10,000 BUCKS, not DUCKS!
Barkeep: Think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?

There's this old man in a nursing home and he's hornier than hell. So he sees this cute nurse and says, "How about a quickie for twenty bucks?" She agrees and gets on top of him. They go at it for about ten minutes. After the act, the old man says, "You know, if I knew you were a virgin, I would have paid you a hundred bucks." In reply, the nurse says, "If I knew you could get it up that high, I would have taken off my pantyhose!"

A very rich old man is on his deathbed and is going to die soon, so he calls in his three sons. He gives them each a duck and tells them that the one who gets the most for his duck will be given everything the old man owns. The first son goes out, and when he comes back he says, "Father! Father! I got $10 for my duck!"

His father says, "That is very good let's see how your other brothers do."

About a day later the second brother comes home and he says, "Father! Father! I got $15 for my duck."

The old man replies, "So far you have done the best, but let's wait and see what your little brother does."

While the last brother was looking for someone to buy his duck, he happened to pass by a bar. When he got into the bar he saw the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen before, so he told her, "I'll give you this duck for a fuck."

She replied, "Ok."

When the boy got home more...

Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

A man is walking around New York with his wife. They find a perfume shop, the wife goes in, and he waits outside. A hooker comes along and says to him, "Like to come home with me, buddy?"

"For how much?" asks the man.

"One hundred dollars."

"I'll give you five bucks."

The girl spits at him and walks away. A little later, the man's wife comes out of the shop and they continue their walk. On the first corner they come to there is the same hooker. She takes one look at the man and his wife and says, "You see? You see what you get for five bucks?"

OK, so a man walks into a bar with a large box, the bar tender goes up to him and asks "whats in the box". The man says "I'll show ya' if you get me a beer." So of course the bar tender gets the man a beer, the man drinks it, and he pulls out a little foot tall man and he pulls out a little piano. The little man starts playing the piano! Next the bar tender asks "hey! thats prety cool, where did ya' get that?" The man says" I'll tell ya' if you get me another beer." So the bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and he says "I got it from a geenie and a lamp"The bar tender says "If ya' let me barrow that geenie and that lamp I'll give ya' another beer." The man says "Oh, Okay!"The bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and the man gives the bar tender the lamp. The bar tender rubs the lamp and the geenie pops out! The geenie says "Master, I grant you one wish, what is more...