Bucks Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar. He didn't have a lighter, so he asked his friend if he had one. "I sure do," he replied while he reached into his golf bag and pulled out a 12 inch Bic lighter. "Wow!" said his friend, "Where did you get that monster lighter?" "I got it from my genie." "You have a genie?" "Yes, right here in my golf bag." "Could I see him?" He opens his golf bag and out pops a genie. The friend asks the genie, "Since, I'm a good friend of your master, will you grant me one wish?" "Yes I will" the genie replies. The friend asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie hops back into the golf bag and leaves him standing there, waiting for his million bucks. Suddenly, the sky begins to darken and the sound of a million ducks flying overhead is heard. The friend tells his golfing partner, "I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!" He more...

This guy goes over to his buddies house and knocks on the door, it opens and there stands his friends wife.' Is John home?' he asks. She replies' No I'm sorry he's gone out to run a few errands.'' Would you mind if I came in and waited for a few minutes?' She opens the door and he follows her down the hall and into the kitchen.' I can't help to notice how beautiful your breasts look in that robe. I will pay you $100 if I could just see one of them.' The woman thinks it over for a moment and figures why not, it is a $100. She opens her robe exposing one of her breasts as the man reaches for his wallet, pulls out a $100 bill and throws it on the table. Shortly there after while drinking his coffee he asks' Your breast was so beautiful, I've got to see them both at the same time, I will pay you another $100 if you will show me them both.' She once again thinks for a moment and decides, what the hell and opens her robe giving him a good long look. He then opens his wallet, grabs another more...

A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash. The barman says,? Geez that's a weird dog: he's stumpy-legged, pink, and doesn't have a tail. I bet my rottweiler would beat the heck out of it.? 50 bucks is laid down. Out in the yard the rottweiler gets mauled to pieces. Another drinker says his pit bull will win but the bet is 100 bucks. Another trip to the yard and when it's all over there are bits of pit-bull terrier all over the place. The drinker pays up and says,? Say what breed is that anyway?? The owner says,? Until I cut his tail off and painted it pink it was the same breed as every other alligator.?

Jack and his friends were playing golf one Saturday. As they are getting ready to tee off, a guy walks up and asks if he can join them. The friends look at each other, look at the guy and say, ‘Sure. ’ About two holes into the game, the friends get curious about what the guy does for a living. So they ask him. The stranger tells them he’s a hitman. They all laugh. The guy says, ‘No really, I am a hitman. My gun is in my golf bag. I carry it everywhere. You can take a look at it if you like. ’ So Jack decides to check it out. He opens the bag and, sure enough, there is a rifle with a huge scope attached. Jack gets all excited and says, ‘WOW! I bet I can see my house through here! May I look? ’ The hit man replies, ‘Sure. ’ So Jack looks and says, ‘YEAH! You can see my house! I can even see through the windows into my bedroom. There’s my wife.
Wait, there’s my next door neighbor! And he’s naked too! ’ This really upsets Jack so he asks how much it would more...

81. Q: What do you call a hooker and four blondes? A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks. 82. Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob? A:' Cause everybody gets a turn. 83. Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks? A:' Cause she's been laid all over the country. 84. Q: What important question does a blonde ask his/her mate before having sex? A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate? 85. Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm? A: *Who cares?*86. Q: Why do blonds have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex! 87. Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm???? A1: She drops her nail-file!!! A2: Who cares? A3: She say' Next' A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes A6: The batteries have run out. 88. Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? A1: They can't remember the number. A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons. 89. Q: What does a blonde say more...

A guy's driving down a country road when he comes upon a sign Saying "Apples - $5.00 each." He thinks that that is a lot of money so he decides to go see what's up.
He goes up to the farmer and says, "Hey, how come these apples are 5 bucks each?" The farmer replies, "They are peanut butter and jelly apples." The farmer hands him one and says, "Here, try one." So the man takes a bite out of the apple and says, "Peanut butter - that's great, but I thought you said that they were peanut butter and jelly apples.
" The farmer tells the man to turn it around. The man bites the other side and exclaims "son of a gun - jelly!" The man says, "These apples are great - give me some."
He gets back in his car and drives a little further down the road and then sees another sign "Apples - $10 each." Again, he pulls over, goes to the farmer and says, "Hey, what's up with these apples?"
The more...

There's this old man in a nursing home and he's hornier than hell. So he sees this cute nurse and says, "How about a quickie for twenty bucks?"
She agrees and gets on top of him. They go at it for about ten minutes. After the act, the old man says, "You know, if I knew you were a virgin, I would have paid you a hundred bucks."
In reply, the nurse says, "If I knew you could get it up that high, I would have taken off my pantyhose!"