Build Jokes / Recent Jokes

a group came and asked donation to build a swimming pool the son
opened the door they said we want to collect donation to build a swimming pool the son say wait a minute and asked the father the father said give them a glass of water hahaha

The beautiful secretary of the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank goes to a sight-seeing tour with a very rich Taiwanese client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her; "Don't reject the guy outright." So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75 carat diamond ring, with a matching 200 carat diamond tiara." The Taiwanese man pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "No problem! I buy. I buy." Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100 room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine county in France." The man pauses for awhile. He whips more...

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer- contractor of his plans to leave the house- building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by.
The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.
When the carpenter finished his work the employer came to inspect the house. He handed the front-door key to the carpenter.
This is your house, he said, my gift to you.
The carpenter was shocked! What a shame!
If he had only known he was building his own, he would have done it all so differently.
We do the most of the things having such thoughts in our mind. But we more...

Paint a few white and place them outside on the grass so
people won't park on your lawn.
Use it as building material. (This is actually what the
Ancient Egyptians used to build the Great Pyramids.)
Keep one under your pillow for home defense.
Send one to the junk mail company with a note asking them
to take you off their list.
It's colorful, use it as a Yule Log.
Carve the Presidents' faces in one and submit it as a
science project.
Give one to your boss and tell him it's a life preserver.
Use it as a base for flower arrangements.
Donate to the local airport for use as airliner wheel
blocks.
Grind a few up and give it back to your in-laws in a bag
marked "lawn fertilizer."
For a community project, sink a few in the ocean and build
an artificial reef.
Tie one to each foot when you walk through deep snow to
keep your feet dry.

These two Austrians were walking through a wide African desert (do not ask me how they got there - I do not know).
After a while one of them says: "Why are we walking through this desert just for this senseless joke. Let us build a bridge!"
The other one agrees and they do so (what else?).
When later arriving at the airport the second one says: "We idiots! Why did we build a bridge in a desert where there is no water just for the sake of this joke."
"Hey, you are right", the other one said, "let us go back and remove it again."
On approaching their monument the first one says: "Oh, just forget it. We cannot remove this bridge."
"Hey, why?", asked the other guy.
"Look up, there are two Swiss standing on our bridge trying to catch a fish!"

The beautiful secretary of the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank goes to a sight-seeing tour with a very rich Taiwanese client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her; "Don't reject the guy outright." So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75 carat diamond ring, with a matching 200 carat diamond tiara." The Taiwanese man pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "No problem!! I buy. I buy." Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100 room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine county in France." The man pauses for awhile. He more...

After years of marriage, Ole and Lena found themselves in bed one night. Lena leaned over to Ole and said, "Ole, have you ever been unfaithful during all our years of marriage?"
"Not even once!" exclaimed Ole. "Lena, have you ever been unfaithful?"
"Well, er, yes - but only three times," she admitted somewhat embarrassed.
"Hmmm, three times?" questioned Ole. "That's not so bad. Do you remember those three times? Can you tell me when?"
"Well, Ole, do you remember when you wanted to build the store and you had a hard time getting approval from the City Council?" asked Lena. "That was the first time."
"And, do you remember when you wanted to build an addition, but had to get the okay from the building inspector?" she asked. "That was the second time."
"OK, Lena, when was the third time?" queried Ole?
"The third time was " Lena paused. more...