Bulb Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911: Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb. Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb? Blonde: Yes. Operator: The power in the house in on? Blonde: Of course. Operator: And the switch is on? Blonde: Yes, yes. Operator: And the bulb still won't light up? Blonde: No, it's working fine. Operator: Then what's the problem? Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

How many LA cops does it take to change light bulb?

Six. One to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters.

How many Supreme Court judges does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, she holds the bulb still and the world revolves around her.


How many family law judges does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but two lawyers have to explain how to do it.

How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb? * That depends on whether it has health insurance. * None. They just tell it to take two aspirin and come round to the surgery later. * None. They only sign the death certificate and phone the mortuary. * None. They would diagnose depression and prescribe benzo diazapines. * Only one, but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in. * Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare. How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb? * None. They would wait for a suitable donor and do a filament transplant. * Three. They'd also like to remove the socket as you aren't using it now. How many veterinarians does it take to change a light bulb? * Three. One to change the bulb and two more to complain that an MD makes ten times as much for the same procedure!! How many physiotherapists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just give the dead more...

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
11 - 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it...
How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
How many divorced Women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
4, 1 to screw in the bulb, 3 to form a support group.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
11, 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it..
How many men does it take to please a woman.
Impossible. Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A women who won't do what she's told.
Why did the woman cross the road?
That's not the point, what's she doing out of the more...

An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand.
Bentley's second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!
Berta's Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. "The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist."
Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist.
Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!"
Q: How has French revolution affected world economic more...

Q: How many cryonicists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four - One to ensure that the light bulb is certifiably dead, one to perfuse it with cryoprotectants, one to slowly cool it to liquid nitrogen temperature, and one to wait two hundred years for technology to advance sufficiently to revive it.