Bull Jokes / Recent Jokes
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.''
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!''
The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''
Knock Knock
Who's there!
Bull!
Bull who?
Bull the chain when your done!
What's the best way to make a bull sweat? Put him in a tight jumper!
Q: What's the difference between a soprano and a pit bull?
A: Jewelry.
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher’s prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.
The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.
As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.
After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, “You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through more...
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."
Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him more...
Q: What has four legs and an arm?
A: A happy pit bull.
Q: Why is a tree like a dog?
A: Because they both lose their bark when they die.
Q: Did you hear about the cowboy who got himself a dachshund?
A: Everyone kept telling him to get a long, little doggie.
Q: What is the difference between a rottweiler and a social worker?
A: It is easier to get your kids back from a rotweiler!
Q: Did you hear about the new breed in pet shops?
A: They crossed a pit bull with a collie; it bites your leg off and goes for help.
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
A: Elephino.