Bull Jokes / Recent Jokes
1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note
explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a
speeding ticket.
3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the
holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact
replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to
get them to fly.
5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes
crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big,
red Santa suit!
6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding
signs that say, "We hate Christmas, and "Go away Santa.
7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus
called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a
loaf of bread on his way home.
8. Throw a surprise more...
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull." The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, "If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant." The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!" The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"
Farmer O'Reilly and Farmer Murphy met in the pub.
"What did you give your Bull when it was ill with the colic?" asked O'Reilly.
"A good dose of Phenyl" said Murphy
A week later they met in the pub again.
"What did you say you gave your Bull with the colic?" said O'Reilly
"Phenyl" said Murphy
"Well, I gave phenyl to my Bull and it died!" said O'Reilly.
"So did mine" said Murphy.
A farmer had a bull that wasn't getting the job done that he was supposed to, so the farmer went to town to see the veterinarian. The vet gave the farmer a large pill and a small pill. He instructed the farmer to give the bull the large pill. And if that didn't do the job, then to give the bull the small pill also.
The farmer gave the bull the large pill and it was obvious that that was all that was needed. The vet had instructed the farmer to destroy the small pill if not used. The farmer was working on the well at the time so he decided to just drop it in 7 the well. A few days later while he was in town he saw the vet on the street.
The vet asked about the bull and the farmer told him the big pill did the job so he dropped the small pill in the well. The vet got excited and said, "You aren't drinking that well water, are you?"
"Heck no," the farmer replied. "I can't even get the pump handle down!"
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.''
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!''
The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''
Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them. First Bull: "Boys, we all know I've been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don't know where this newcomer is going to get HIS cows, but I ain't givin' him any of mine." Second Bull: "That pretty much says it for me, too. I've been here 3 years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we've agreed are mine. I'll fight' em till I run him off or kill' im, but I AM KEEPIN' ALL MY COWS." Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows to "take care of". I may not be as big as you fellows (yet) but I am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep all MY cows." They had just finished their big talk when an eighteen-wheeler pulls up in the middle of the pasture with only ONE ANIMAL IN IT: the more...
YOUNG Dave was courting Mabel, who lived on an adjoining farm out west
in cattle country. One evening, as they were sitting on Dave's porch
watching the sun go down over the hills, Dave spied his prize bull
doing the business on one of his cows. He sighed in contentment at
this idyllic rural scene and figured the omens were right for him to
put the hard word on Mabel.
He leaned in close and whispered in her ear, "Mabel, I'd sure like to
be doing what that bull is doing."
"Well then, why don't you? "Mabel whispered back. "It is YOUR cow."