Bull Jokes / Recent Jokes

Lesson Number One A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. Lesson Number Two A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was more...

They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 50 times last year."
The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him."
They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 65 times last year."
The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year.
That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also."
They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times
last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times
last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one."
The man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and inquire if it was 365 times with
the same cow."

An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"The waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bulls testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"The American, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the hell, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!"The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"The next morning, the American returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he more...

A man takes his wife to a livestock show. They enter the tent that houses all the bulls. The sign on the first bulls stall states: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, isn't that nice." They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 70 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 70 times last year, that's almost 6 times a month. You could learn a thing or two from this one!" They carry on to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth gapes open and says, "WOW! he mated 365 times last year, that's ONCE A DAY! You could really learn from this one." The fed up man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and enquire if it was 365 times with the same cow."

A city feller who didn't know the front end of a goat from a magnolia bush was watching his weekend host's daughter milking her cow when a farm hand hollered, "Watch out, here comes the bull!"
The city feller vaulted a fence for safety, but noted to his surprise that the girl never budged from her stool. Furthermore, the bull stopped abruptly, snorted almost apologetically and meekly retreated to his
enclosure.
"Weren't you petrified?" demanded the guest. "Not me," said the milkmaid, "but I reckon the bull was. This here cow's his mother-in-law."

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them. First Bull: "Boys, we all know I`ve been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don`t know where this newcomer is going to get HIS cows, but I ain`t givin` him any of mine." Second Bull: "That pretty much says it for me, too. I`ve been here 3 years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we`ve agreed are mine. I`ll fight him till I run him off or kill him, but I`M KEEPIN` ALL MY COWS." Third Bull: "I`ve only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows to "take care of". I may not be as big as you fellows (yet) but I am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep all MY cows." They had just finished their big talk when an eighteen-wheeler pulls up in the middle of the pasture with only ONE ANIMAL IN IT: the more...

1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2. While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
3. Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
4. While he’s in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say “We hate Christmas, ” and “Go away Santa. ”
7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the more...