Bull Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little farmboy comes in late for school. Teacher asks why he's late. Farmboy replies that he had to take the family cow over to the neighbour's to get her bred by a bull.
Annoyed, teacher demands, "Can't your father do that?" Little farm boy thinks for a moment: replies, "Well, sure... but the bull can do it better."

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.

First Bull: "Boys, we all know I've been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don't know where this newcomer is going to get HIS cows, but I ain't' giving' him any of mine."

Second Bull: "That pretty much says it for me, too. I've been here 3 years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we've agreed are mine. I'll fight' him till I run him off or kill' him, but I'M KEEPING' ALL MY COWS."

Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows to "take care of." I may not be as big as you fellows (yet) but I am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep all MY cows."

They had just finished their big talk when an eighteen wheeler pulls up in the middle of more...

Little farmboy comes in late for school. Teacher asks why he's late. Farmboy replies that he had to take the family cow over to the neighbour's to get her bred by a bull.Annoyed, teacher demands, "Can't your father do that?" Little farm boy thinks for a moment: replies, "Well, sure... but the bull can do it better."

A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver. The little kid starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull." The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continued with, "If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant."
The kid went on with several animals until the bus driver got angry and yelled at the kid, "What if your dad was a serial killer and your mom was a prostitute?!"
The kid smiled and said, "I would be a bus driver!"

> Lesson number one
> ----------------
> A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small
> rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
> nothing all day long?"
>
> The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below
> the crow, and rested.
> All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>
> Moral of the story is:
> To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very
> high up.
>
> Lesson number two
> ----------------
> A turkey was chatting with a bull.
> "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed
> the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
> "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
> bull. They're packed with nutrients."
> The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually more...

A man on a business trip in Mexico decides to take in a bull fight. After the event, he stops in to the little dive next to the venue called "The Matador".
As he checks out the menu trying to decide what he wants he sees a waiter bring a dish to another customer.
The dish is spaghetti with these two huge meat balls. When the waiter comes to his table, he inquires. "That is the Matador Special" replies the waiter. "Spaghetti and Bull testicles. We get them after the bull fight. It is exquisite!"
"That's what I'll have!", says the businessman.
"I'm very sorry senor, but that dish is only available once per day".
Disappointed, the man orders another dish and plans to try again the next day.
So again, the next day he goes to the bull fights, and afterwards stops into the dive. Just as the waiter is coming to his table, he sees another waiter bringing the "Matador Special" to another customer who was more...

You don't know Jack Schitt!
When someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", well, now you'll know the entire story.
Jack Schitt was the only son of Owe Schitt and Awe Schitt. Owe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, who later ran a country hotel.. The Kneedeep Inn.
Jack Schitt eventually married Noe Schitt and together they produced six children.
Sadly, their first child, Holy Schitt, passed away shortly after birth. Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Then they had twin daughters, Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt. Their last child was a son, Bull.
As time went on, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. Deep Schitt's twin brother, Dip Schitt, married Lotta schitt, who gave birth to a son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt married the Happens brothers.
The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Hawse Schitt.
Bull Schitt recently married a spicy Italian number, Pisa Schitt and more...