Business Jokes / Recent Jokes
Full page ad brought back from a recent trip, taken from the British
paper The Times (Feb 4 1989).
A full page picture of Ollie North is featured, with his right arm
raised, as if swearing before a court. The subtitle is:
"With a few notable exceptions, no one can transfer money
round the world more efficiently than us."
The ad continues:
We think it's time to come clean. Girobank has been
transferring large sums of money half-way round the world
for years.
It's hardly a risky business. Our centralised
international division, with its unique links to the
entire overseas Giro network, allows business to be
conducted at maximum speed and with the minimum of
bureaucracy.
And even if your transaction should prove difficult
(as it might in Nicaragua for example) we can provide
documentary collections, letters of credit, bonds and
guarantees.
...
All in all, Girobank adds up to less hassle and more...
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
An econometrician and an astrologer are arguing about their subjects.The astrologer says, "Astrology is more scientific. My predictions come out right half the time. Yours can't even reach that proportion".The econometrician replies, "That's because of external shocks. Stars don't have those".
American businessman was at a pier in a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while. The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The American then asked the Mexican how he spent the rest of his time. The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor." The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fis hing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several more...
Information's pretty thin stuff, unless mixed with experience.
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening, when he finds the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?" "Certainly," the young executive says. He turns the machine on, inserts the paper, and presses the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" says the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."