Buttercups Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two guys are out one day golfing. One slices off to the right, one hooks off to the left and they both go to retrieve their balls. The guy on the right is hacking and hacking at the ball but just can't lift it out of the buttercups. It has become lodged in. All of a sudden, up from the ground comes Mother Nature and is she mad!

"What the hell are you doing to my beautiful buttercups?" she asks.

"I'm just trying to get my golf ball out of them, lady", replies the golfer.

"Well, you are really making me mad. Just look what you've done to my buttercups. For this I must punish you. Your punishment will be an entire year without butter!!"

The golfer starts laughing hysterically which by now has just about worn out Mother Nature's patience.

"What in the hell do you think is so funny about no butter for a year?" she screams at him.

"I'm not laughing about that - I'm laughing about more...

Bart and Andrew were playing golf, and, teeing off, Bart sliced to the left and sent his ball flying into the rough. Going after it, he found the ball nestled in a field of buttercups. Taking out his nine-iron; Bart started thrashing away at the buttercups, looking for his ball.
Suddenly Bart heard a woman's voice behind him. "What are you doing?"
Turning, he saw a lovely young woman dressed in a flowing white gown and a wreath of red roses around her head.
Bart said, "What's it any of your business?"
The woman replied, "I'm Mother Nature, and henceforth, for what you've done to my buttercups, you will become deathly sick for a full day whenever you eat butter."
With that the woman faded into a sunbeam and vanished. Astonished, Bart stumbled from the rough to find his partner and tell him what happened. Calling for Andrew, he heard his friend reply, "I'm over here, looking for my ball."
"Where? I can't see more...

Two teenagers are sitting on a house porch after school one afternoon. Little Johnny comes walking down the road in front of the house. One of the kids leans over to the other and says, "Do you see that guy? We call him Little Johnny and he is the greatest wheeler dealer in the whole school. He can make a deal and get a trade for almost anything."

This first kid yells to Johnny and asks, "Hey little Johnny, whatcha carrying around with you?" Little Johnny yells back, "I have a sack of buttercups and I am going to go trade them for butter." The teen on the porch yells back, "That is silly! You cannot trade buttercups for butter!" But one hour later, Johnny comes back down the road carrying a bucket full of butter. The two kids on the porch just shake their heads and mutter, "That Johnny is the greatest trader of all."

The next day, the two teenagers see Johnny walking down the road again. One of the kids yells to more...

A man was playing a game of golf, and on hole 16, he hit the ball right into a field of buttercups. As honest a golfer as he normally was, he picked up the ball and laid it next to the flowerbed to avoid destroying the beautiful buttercups. A fairy comes down and says "thank you for not disturbing my buttercups. For that I shall make sure that you always have a full supply of butter"."Thank you," the golfer replied, "but where were you last week when I hitthe ball into the pussywillows?"

A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left.The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in the process she hacks the hell out of the buttercups.Suddenly a woman appears out of nowhere. She blocks her path to her golf bag and looks at her and says, "I'm Mother Nature, and I don't like the way you treated my buttercups. From now on, you won't be able to stand the taste of butter. Each time you eat butter you will become physically ill to the point of total nausea."The mystery woman then disappears as quickly as she appeared.Shaken, the wife calls out to her husband "Hey, where's your ball?""It's over here in the pussy willows."The wife screams back, "DON'T HIT THE BALL!!! DON'T HIT THE BALL!!!"