Buttons Jokes / Recent Jokes

What might've happened: Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Clinton in the face. Confused, Clinton carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Clinton carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the more...

He was having a fairly uneventful international journey when all of the sudden he had an incredible urge to use the restroom.He got up and crossed over to the men's lavatory when he noticed a long line. The man, being positive that he could not wait any longer walked over to a stewardess."Please ma'am, may I go to the women's restroom? I noticed there was no line there."After much begging the stewardess relunctantly areed. "Okay, sir. But please, DO NOT touch any buttons."He agreed and went to the restroom immediatly to relieve himself. Next to the toilet paper there were three large colored buttons. Being interested, and being male he said... "Why not?"He pressed the blue button. Immediatly a large mechanical arm with a powder poof at the end powdered his face."Hmm... interesting."He pressed the green button. Immediatly another mechanical arm with a brush on the end brushed the man's hair."Man, the guys are getting jipped."He pressed more...

Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"... Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?" Good girls never go after another girl's man... Bad girls go after him AND his brother. Good girls wear white cotton panties... Bad girls don't wear any. Good girls wax their floors... Bad girls wax their bikini lines. Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot... Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons. Good girls make chicken for dinner... Bad girls make reservations. Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies... Bad girls know they could do better. Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss... Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich. Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls... Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls. Good girls love italian food... Bad girls love italian waiters.

-Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot.
-Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
-Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it.
-Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.
-Good girls wax their floors.
-Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
-Good girls blush during love scenes in a movie.
-Bad girls know they could do it better.
-Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls.
-Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls.
-Good girls wear high heels to work.
-Bad girls wear high heels to bed.
-Good girls say, ''Don't... Stop...''
-Bad girls say, ''Don't Stop...''

Good girls say " thanks for a wonderful dinner"...
Bad girls say, " what's for breakfast?"
Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.
Good girls wear white cotton panties
Bad girls don't wear any.
Good girls wax their floors...
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls make chicken for dinner...
Bad girls make reservations
Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...
Bad girls know they could do better
Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss...
Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.
Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...
Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls...
Good girls love Italian food...
Bad girls love Italian waiters.

Good girls say " thanks for a wonderful dinner"...Bad girls say, " what's for breakfast?"Good girls never go after another girl's man...Bad girls go after him AND his brother.Good girls wear white cotton pantiesBad girls don't wear any.Good girls wax their floors...Bad girls wax their bikini lines.Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hotBad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.Good girls make chicken for dinner...Bad girls make reservationsGood girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...Bad girls know they could do betterGood girls never consider sleeping with the boss...Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls...Good girls love Italian food...Bad girls love Italian waiters.

Good girls say "Thanks for a wonderful dinner"...
Bad girls say, "What's for breakfast?"
Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.
Good girls wear white cotton panties...
Bad girls don't wear any.
Good girls wax their floors...
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot...
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls make chicken for dinner...
Bad girls make reservations
Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...
Bad girls know they could do better
Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss...
Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.
Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...
Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.
Good girls love italian food...
Bad girls love italian waiters.