Buzzer Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant's backside and force fed it for 2 weeks. But because the experiment had never been documented and the idea was hard to comprehend they decided to have a go. A week after the experiment had started they began to realize WHY the idea had never been tried: they were stuck for someone to pull the cork out. One of the scientists came up with the bright idea of training a monkey to do the job, so they spent the next week training it to pull out corks once a buzzer had rung, then push it back in for another go. When the big day arrived they set up all the monitoring equipment and moved out to a safe distance. The first scientist went 1 mile away, the second went 2 miles away and the third went 3 miles. When they were all ready the first scientist pushed the button to sound the buzzer. BBBAAANNNGGG!!!!!!! The third scientist (3 miles away) was up to his ankles in shit, the second (2 miles away) was more...
Our honourable speaker decides to introduce a lie-detecting machine in to the parliament to restict the' gal palena boru' which are freely flying around. He decides to call the cabinet members for a demonstration as asks a few to say something as a test. First, starts our honourable minister Prof. G. L. Pieris and as soon as he starts talking about his overwhelming victory,' beep', goes off the buzzer.
Next was Hon. Gen. Ratwatte's turn. He starts talking about the military advances in the north, the buzzer goes off.
Finally, its honourable minister Mr Mangala Samaraweera's turn. He doesn't know what to say so he starts off " I think...
"Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep" goes the buzzer.......
An old Jewish woman has been invited to help screen a movie for the rating it'll carry.
The movie is an old remake of a Roman Gladiator type movie. In the middle of the movie is a scene where the Romans are feeding people to the lions.
The little old lady hits the buzzer she's been given, which stops the movie. The attendant comes down to her chair and says, "Yes, ma'am?"
"This movie should be rated' R' because those Jews are being fed to the lions!"
The attendant says, "Ma'am, those are Christians, not Jews."
"Oh. Ok. Well, start the movie up again."
A few minutes later she again presses the buzzer. The attendant comes down to her chair. "Yes ma'am?"
She points to the screen. "Those lions over there -- they're not eating!!!"
Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant's backside and force fed it for 2 weeks. But because the experiment had never been documented and the idea was hard to comprehend they decided to have a go.
A week after the experiment had started they began to realize WHY the idea had never been tried: they were stuck for someone to pull the cork out.
One of the scientists came up with the bright idea of training a monkey to do the job, so they spent the next week training it to pull out corks once a buzzer had rung, then push it back in for another go. When the big day arrived they set up all the monitoring equipment and moved out to a safe distance.
The first scientist went 1 mile away, the second went 2 miles away and the third went 3 miles. When they were all ready the first scientist pushed the button to sound the buzzer. BBBAAANNNGGG!!!
The third scientist (3 miles away) was up to his ankles in shit, the second (2 more...
Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant's backside and force fed it for 2 weeks. But because the experiment had never been documented and the idea was hard to comprehend they decided to have a go.A week after the experiment had started they began to realize WHY the idea had never been tried: they were stuck for someone to pull the cork out.One of the scientists came up with the bright idea of training a monkey to do the job, so they spent the next week training it to pull out corks once a buzzer had rung, then push it back in for another go. When the big day arrived they set up all the monitoring equipment and moved out to a safe distance.The first scientist went 1 mile away, the second went 2 miles away and the third went 3 miles. When they were all ready the first scientist pushed the button to sound the buzzer. BBBAAANNNGGG!!! The third scientist (3 miles away) was up to his ankles in shit, the second (2 miles away) was up to more...