Cafe Jokes / Recent Jokes

John was sitting in a cafe. The waiter had just brought a cup of coffee to the
man sitting at the table next to him. The man drained his coffee into the vase
on the table and ate the cup. He only left the handle. Then he paid and left the
cafe.
"Did you see that?" John asks the waiter. "This man drained his coffee into the
vase and ate the cup. He only left the handle. Strange, isn't it?"
"That is strange indeed," replied the waiter. "The handle is the best of a cup."

IT'S A WONDERFUL MACHINE
The Sweetest Christmas Movie Frank Capra Never Made
-- by David Pogue

I guess I shouldn't have gone to a party where the eggnog was spiked, and maybe I shouldn't have watched the movie It's a Wonderful Life while leafing through MacWeek. But anyway, I had the weirdest dream last night -- like a bizarre black-and-white movie that went like this: Jimmy Stewart stars as Steve' Jobs' Bailey, who runs a beleaguered but beloved small-town computer company. For years, big monopolist Bill' Gates' Potter has been wielding his power and money to gain control of the town. And for years, Steve has fought for survival:' This town needs my measly, one-horse computer, if only to have something for people to use instead of Windows!'

But now an angry mob is banging on Apple's front door, panicking.' The press says your company is doomed!' yells one man.' You killed the clones! We're going to Windows!' calls another.' We want out of our more...

I went to a cafe that advertised breakfast anytime, so I ordered French Toast during the Rennaisance.

Internet Cafe Jokes
Hold mouse up to ear like a cell phone and yell "I can't hear you!!! You're going to have to speak louder!"
Play Pac Man and state to person next to you, "These new games are incredible!"
Practice' spinning mouse mat on index finger' globe trotter routine.
Put your monitor's contrast and brightness on full. With wide open eyes yell "It's going to implode!"
Tell the cashier you wish to redeem your free 1000 hours and hand him a bag full of collected AOL promo CD's.
Typing hard and loudly looking behind you yell, "STOP MAKING ME TYPE THIS - IT WILL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE!"
Sit at the web terminal... without a chair.

Bunny and Bob, two frequent users of a chat room, discovered that they had a lot in common. Eventually, they abandoned the chat room for a more intimate correspondence. After months of virtual kinkiness, the two decided to meet each other face-to-face at a small cafe.

Bunny arrived a little late. One customer, a short, frail man with an eye patch, sat at the back of the cafe.

"Are you Bob?" asked Bunny.

"Yes I am," said Bob.

"Unbelievable!" Bunny exclaimed. "You told me that you were tall, dark and handsome."

"How do you think I feel?" Bob asked, his face turning red. "You told me that you were skinny, blonde, and... female!"

An old age goes into a cafe and asks the waiter if they have any baked beans. "Yes, of course," replies the waiter. "I'll have two tins on toast, then," says the pensioner. The waiter brings the meal over and the old chap happily munches away, downs a cup of tea then trots out into the street. Less than a minute later, a policeman rushes into the cafe. "You know that elderly chap who was in here just a second ago?" he says. "I'm afraid he's collapsed outside on the pavement and died." "I can't believe it," says the waiter. "He was full of beans when he left."

Sign in a cafe:
All drinking water in this establishment has been personally passed by the management.