Cage Jokes / Recent Jokes

This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics.He thinks the neighbor is going to hate him forever, so he takes thedirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and gives it a bath, blow driesits fur and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes.A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy,"Did you hear that Fluffy died?".The guy stumbles around and says, "Um.. er.. no.. what happened?".The neighbor replies, "We just found him dead in his cage one day.But the weird thing is that the day after we buried him, we wentoutside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put himback into the cage. There must be some real sick people out there!"

A short elderly woman burst into a pet store. "I want to buy a canary, but it's got to be a good singer! I've got good, hard US cash, but I'm only paying for a good singer."

The shop owner began moving a ladder towards a small cage on a shelf about fifteen feet up, near the ceiling of the store. "Ma'am, I've been in this business for forty years and the best singer I've ever heard is in that cage."

"Don't think I'm gonna feel obligated to pay for something I don't want just because you're climbing up a ladder like a monkey. I want a canary, but it's got to be a singer."

By this point, the shop keeper was coming down the ladder. "Ma'am, this bird is a veritable feathered Caruso!" He placed the cage on the counter and the bird burst into melody after melody.

Awed, the woman murmured, "Why, he is a good singer." Suddenly she screamed, "Hey, this bird's only got one leg!"

The more...

This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is very dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house, gives it a bath, blow-dries its fur, and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping that they will think it died of natural causes.
A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, "Did you hear that Fluffy died?"
The guy stumbles around and says, "Um.. no.. um.. what happened?"
The neighbor replies, "We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There must be some real sick people out there!"

"I'm going to become a lion tamer."
"That's crazy, you don't know nothing about lion taming."
"Yes I do!"
"Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?"
"Well, then I'll take that big chair they all carry and stick it in his face until he backs down."
"Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?"
"Well, then I'll takes that whip they all carry and whip him until he backs down."
"Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and breaks it in two? What are you going to do then?"
"Well, then I'll take that gun they all carry and shoot him."
"Well, what if that gun doesn't work? What will you do then?"
"Well, then I'll pick up some of the shit that's on the bottom of the more...

Two gay men were visiting a zoo, when they found themselves at the gorilla cage. The gorilla was sitting there with a huge erection. Unable to contain himself one of the men reaches in to touch it.
As soon as his arm goes into the cage, the gorilla grabs him, and takes him into the cage... slams him to the floor and fucks him senseless.
A few days later in hospital the boyfriend visits and asks his partner if he is hurt...
"Hurt..Hurt.. You bet I'm hurt. He hasn't phoned, he hasn't written..."

A man wanted a big, ferocious dog to protect his business, so he visited a kennel that specialized in attack dogs. The man explained to the kennel owner that he wanted the biggest, meanest, most vicious dog in the kennel, and the owner offered to take the man on a tour of the premises.
After they had been walking for a few minutes, they came upon a large dog. He was snarling loudly and biting and clawing at the cage. "He looks like he'd be a pretty good attack dog," said the buyer. "Well, he's not bad," replied the owner, "but I have something
better in mind for you."
They continued walking around the premises, and after a while they found an even larger, meaner dog than the first. He snarled at the two men and tried to bite them through the wire on his cage. "Ah," said the buyer, "This must be the dog you were referring to
earlier." "Well, no." said the owner. "I have something better in mind for more...

This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbor is going to hate him forever, so he takes thedirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and gives it a bath, blow driesits fur and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes. A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy,"Did you hear that Fluffy died?". The guy stumbles around and says, "Um.. er.. no.. what happened?". The neighbor replies, "We just found him dead in his cage one day. But the weird thing is that the day after we buried him, we wentoutside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put himback into the cage. There must be some real sick people out there!"