Zoo Jokes

'go back to africa, go back to india!'
'Nan shut up were at the zoo.'

Hey, this joke is a reality of life in the UAE.
In the poor zoo of Africa, a lion was so much frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.
The lion thought it's prayers were answered, when one of UAE Zoo Manager visits the zoo and requests the zoo management to shift the lion to the UAE Zoo.
The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/C environment, a goat or two every day and a UAE residence permit also.
On it's first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast.
The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few peanuts.
Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from Africa.
The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of peanuts was delivered.
The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, "Don't you know I more...

A guy was standing in front of the gorilla cage at the zoo one day, when a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless. When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your eyelid means "screw you" in gorilla language. The explanation didn't make the victim feel any better - and he vowed revenge. The next day, he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and went right up to the gorilla's cage where he opened up his bag of goodies. Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, reached through the bars, grabbed a hat from the bag, and put it on. Next, the guy picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla reached out, picked up his horn, and did the same. Then the more...

(A sad story of a lion>. .>. ..> )
In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.
The lion thought its prayers were answered when one U. S. Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the U. S. Zoo.
The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a U. S. Green Card also.
On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast. The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few
bananas.
Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.
The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.
The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him,'Don't you know I am the lion... king of the more...

VERY brave Haryanvi who feared nothing was employed as a keeper of lions in a zoo. The lions held him in awe and respect. The only one the Haryanvi feared was his quarrelsome wife. If he was late returning home from the local theka, she gave him hell.

One evening he was. later than usual and rather than face his irate wife decided to spend the night with the lions. The wife looked for him everywhere she thought he might be. Finally she went to the zoo and found him fast asleep resting his head on the belly of the biggest lion.

"You bloody coward!" She screamed, " Vaisey to bahut bahadur bantaisai; ajdeykh lee teyree bahaduri" (You make yourself out to be such a brave man; today I've seen what a coward you can be.)