Cage Jokes / Recent Jokes

This guy goes to the zoo one day. While standing in front of the gorillas cage, a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless. When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your eyelid means "F**k you!" in gorilla language. The explanation didnt make the victim feel any better and he vowed revenge. The next day he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and over to the gorillas cage, where he tossed a hat, a knife, and a party horn. Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, looked at the hat, and put it on. Next, he picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla picked up his horn and did the same. Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out more...

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the monkeys with cold water. After awhile, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result. Pretty soon, when any monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, turn off the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm. Again, replace a third original monkey with a more...

Two middle aged women lived next door to each other, and they usually got along fine expect one had a dog the kept harrassing the others rabbits. One day the woman came to find her dog shredding one of the rabbits to pieces. Scared she quickly tore the rabbit away, Ran into the house, and washed it up. She did everything from combing it to putting on fake fur. Then she placed it inside the cage - which was outside - against the wall to make it look like it was just resting. Later she was out gardening and her neighbor ran out and said,"I found my rabbit in its cage and its been dead a week."

A guy has a horny parrot. It’s terrible. Every time he reaches into the cage, the bird humps his arm. He invites his mother to tea, and the bird keeps saying foul things. Finally he takes the parrot to a vet.
The vet examines the bird extensively, says, “Well, you have a horny male parrot. I have a sweet young female bird, and for fifteen dollars your bird can go in the cage with mine. ”
The guy’s parrot is listening and says, “Come on! Come on! What are you waiting for? ”
Finally, the guy says “All right” and hands over the fifteen dollars.
The vet takes the parrot, puts him in the cage with the female bird, closes the curtain.
Suddenly, “Kwah! Kwah! Kwah! ” The cage starts shaking and feathers come flying out.
The vet says, “Holy gee, ” and runs across the room and opens the curtain.
The male bird has the female bird down on the bottom of the cage with one claw. With the other claw he’s pulling out all her feathers. He’s more...

One day an out of work mime ising the zoo and attempt to earn some money as a street performer. As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office.
The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.
So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before crows come. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a more...

This elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease her loneliness and goes to the pet store. She decides against puppies, kitties, etc., and is about to leave the store when she hears a voice saying, "My, do you look lovely this afternoon, madam."
She turns around quickly to see who has spoken, but there is no one. All she sees is a big green parrot, resting on his perch in his cage. "Did you say that?" she asks.
"Why, yes, I did!" he replies. "And may I add that dress is a very nice color for you."
The lady suddenly realizes how nice it would be to not only have a talking parrot, but one that paid such nice compliments. So she pays for him and takes him home. On the way, she says, "You know, I am so proud of you that I believe I'll take you out for dinner! Would you like that?"
The parrot says, "Why yes, that would be delightful. I know a charming place on 7th Street."
So they more...

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only knowhow to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have somefun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why youare embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrotswhom I have taught to pray and read the Bible.Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them inthe cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrotsto praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop sayingthat...that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the womanresponded, "this may very well be the solution." The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest'shouse. As he ushered her in, she saw this two male parrots wereinside their cage, more...