Camel Jokes / Recent Jokes

A new lieutenent in the French Foreign Legion arrives at an isolated base in Algeria. As a corporal shows him is quarters, he asks the corporal, "The base is rather isolated, what do the men do for female companionship?"The corporal replies, "On Fridays, they let us use the camels."The lieutenent can't beleive it. On Friday, he stands around the camel pen to see what happens. Suddenly, he hears the camp bugler blow a charge on his horn. The ensuing chaos was amazing... men from all over the camp decended on the camel pens like huns attacking a village. Out of the swarm of men, the lieutenent sees the same corporal he met on his first day. He grabs the man by the arm. The corporal shouts, "Let me go! Let me go!""Good God man," said the lieutenent. "There are 200 men here and 500 camels. What's your hurry?"The corporal replied, "I don't want to get stuck with an ugly one!"

A man goes into a police station and the desk sargeant asks him what he
wants.
The man says, "Someone has stolen my camel, I went into a bar for one drink
and when I came out it was gone!"
"Now, sir, I think we have had more than one drink. Why don't you just go
home before you end up in a cell for being drunk and incapable," says the
sargeant.
The man pleads his innocence, "Listen, I am not drunk and my camel has
definitely been stolen. Please help me."
"Okay," says the policeman. "Let me have some details. Give me a desciption
of your camel."
"Thank you," the man says. "Well, it is a greyish brown colour, it's got two
humps, it is a male and it..."
"Hold on, not so fast. How do you know it is a male of the species?" the
sargeant enquired.
"Well," the man explained, "The other day I was riding it down the High
Street and two more...

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com, did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.
Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.
She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the more...

A dude was travelling in the desert when he realised he had got
lost and figured he might as well have sex with something since
he was going to die sooner or later.
So he decides to screw the camel. He sits the camel 10 metres from
him and he runs and jumps with his member fully erect. But lo and
behold the camel moves a metre and the guy falls in the hot sand
and burns his member. Unmoved by this unfortunate incident he tries
again and the result. .. the same.
He then prays to god "Please got help me, I am dying and I need to
have sex! !!". So suddenly out of the sky falls a beautiful
blone girl. She had the best body the guy had ever seen. "Thank You
God, Thank You " he says
The guy then looks at the girl and says "OK now that you are here
HOLD THE CAMEL! !!!!!!"

Two men went to the desert for a vacation. They rented a camel and headed out. Five days later they came back but without the camel. The man who had rented them the camel was very upset and screamed, "Where is my camel?" They replied, "Well, we were riding along when we kept hearing people say,' Look at the two assholes on that camel!' So finally we got off to take a look and the damn camel ran away!"

A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted men's barracks. He asked the Sergeant leading the tour, "What's the camel for?"
The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, we have the camel."
The Captain said "Well, if it's good for morale, then I guess it's all right with me." After he had been at the fort for about 6 months, the Captain could not stand it anymore, so he told his Sergeant, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!"
The Sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the Captain's quarters. The Captain got a foot stool and proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel. As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool and was buttoning his pants he asked the Sergeant, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?" The Sergeant replied, more...

A woman reporter is driving a jeep in the desert. She sees a Captain in the French Foreign Legion pulling and tugging on a camel, but the camel won't budge.The woman stops and says, "Captain! Do you need some help with the camel?"The legionarie tells her the camel won't budge but she's welcome to try. The reporter gets out of the jeep, takes two bricks from the back and POW... smashes the camel's testicles with the bricks. The camel makes a terrible noise and runs off into the desert.The captain drops his pants and says, "Great! Do me next, I've got to catch that son of a bitch!"